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Obesity is disease or result of globalisation.

Obesity is disease or result of globalisation. VEKNK
Nowadays many people rely on fast food or pre-prepared meals and also obesity, diabetes and heart disease are on the increase. Apart from that governments have a significant role to play in reducing obesity. In my opinion that there are number of reasons for this global occasion. The human body requires a balanced diet. In other words to say that overeating can lead to human disease. Including this an unhealthy diet can also cause various health problems. For instance, if person eats a lot of fatty foods without following a diet, drinks coffee 2 or 3 times a day and of course eats fast food, it can lead to big problems. Accordingly, if people eat foods so much, they can engage to with some exercise regularly for their healthy body. Additionally, the government should recommend eating five portions of fruit and vegetables instead of fatty foods or per day. On the other hand, most adults relax by watching TV and they lie down under the TV. It means 'Coach potato'. They eat meals, call the fast food and they delivered goods for them and also they don't requires a balanced diet. Even they have not their daily schedule. Children play video games rather than playing outdoor games sports. That is why I think that the government should pay more attention to such youngsters. For instance, the government need share to information about what foods contain especially sweets and fatty meals for people and of course they know that it is how to influence of their heart and diabetes and government should organize some facilities such as sport facilities or parents tend to walk less and do desk jobs for their children. In conclusion, goods often contain too much fat, salt and sugar and also they are cheap to buy and very easy to prepare but people should recommend to diet of convenience foods. So that governments should promote a healthy diet and regilar exercise.
Nowadays
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
rely on
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
fast
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
or
Possible spelling mistake found.
pre-prepared
meals and
also
obesity, diabetes and heart disease are on the increase. Apart from that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
governments
have a significant role to play in reducing obesity. In my opinion that there are number of reasons for this global occasion. The human body requires a balanced diet.
In other words
to say that overeating can lead to human disease. Including this an unhealthy diet can
also
cause various health problems.
For instance
, if person
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
eats
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
fatty
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
foods
without following a diet, drinks coffee 2 or 3 times a day and
of course
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
eats
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
fast
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
, it can lead to
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
big
problems.
Accordingly
, if
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
eat
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
foods
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
much, they can engage to with
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
exercise
regularly
for their healthy body.
Additionally
, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
government
should recommend eating five portions of fruit and vegetables
instead
of fatty
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
foods
or per day.
On the other hand
, most adults relax by watching
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
TV and
they lie down under the TV. It means 'Coach potato'. They
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
eat
meals, call the
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
fast
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
food and
they delivered
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
goods
for them and
also
they don't
Did you mean "require"?
requires
a balanced diet. Even they have not their daily schedule. Children play video games
rather
than playing outdoor games sports.
That is
why I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
that the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
government
should pay more attention to such youngsters.
For instance
, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
government
need share to information about what
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
foods
contain
especially
sweets and fatty meals for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
and
of course
they know that it is how to influence of their heart and diabetes and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
government
should organize
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
facilities such as sport facilities or parents tend to walk less and do desk jobs for their children.
In conclusion
,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
goods
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
often
contain too much
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
fat
, salt and sugar and
also
they are
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
cheap
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
buy
and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
easy to prepare
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
should
The verb 'recommend' is used with the gerund form: "recommend dieting".
recommend to diet
of convenience
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
foods
.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
governments
should promote a healthy diet and
Possible spelling mistake found.
regilar
exercise.
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IELTS essay Obesity is disease or result of globalisation.

Essay
  American English
1 paragraphs
324 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 5.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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