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Obesity in the children and population

Obesity in the children and population Ogxd7
This is going to work. Reading is good to have you. Sunset is not okay. There are a lot of people who suffer from health conditions. One of the leading disease is obesity of children. Children nowadays have sedentary lifestyle. It is due to high cholesterol level. Things, in which, cholesterol is high includes chicken, butter, oil, fried food, and sunflower oil. Lifestyle is the main reason why people are having more obese than former.
This is going to work. Reading is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
to have you. Sunset is not okay. There are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
who suffer from health conditions. One of the leading disease is obesity of children. Children nowadays have sedentary lifestyle. It is due to high cholesterol level. Things, in which, cholesterol is high includes chicken, butter, oil, fried food, and sunflower oil. Lifestyle is the main reason why
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
are having more obese than former.
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IELTS essay Obesity in the children and population

Essay
  American English
1 paragraphs
75 words
This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1
5.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 6.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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