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You work in a busy office. Sometimes you work overtime. Your manager wants to pay extra money for each hour of overtime; however, some people disagree. They think the staff should get extra money as a bonus once a year if the company makes money. The manager has asked you to respond to an opinion survey.

You work in a busy office. Sometimes you work overtime. Your manager wants to pay extra money for each hour of overtime; however, some people disagree. They think the staff should get extra money as a bonus once a year if the company makes money. The manager has asked you to respond to an opinion survey. 6degr
Thank you for considering our opinion on this matter. I would opt to be paid an overtime salary for the extra hours of work one will render. First of all, it would be a great motivation for employees to receive instantaneous monetary rewards for their efforts. It will boost their confidence if they know that one’s hard work is not taken for granted by the company. Secondly, the money can be used as additional funds for their daily expenses. I know some of us have part-time jobs on weekends just to be able to provide for their family. Thus, it would be a great help to most of us if we received extra cash to spend for our daily cost of living. If we’re paid recurrently for the overtime work, we won’t need a second job and the time that we spent on weekends at work will now be allotted to our family. Lastly, we can allocate the supplementary income in our savings. It is always good to keep money for rainy days since we do not know when we might need it. If we receive money regularly as oppose to a lump-sum payment such as the annual bonus, we could build a habit of saving money. I really appreciate that you’re considering our feedback and I hope that you’ll consider the points that I have provided before you make your final decision.
Thank you for considering our opinion on this matter. I would opt to
be paid
an overtime salary for the extra hours of
work
one will render.
First of all
, it would be a great motivation for employees to receive instantaneous monetary rewards for their efforts. It will boost their confidence if they know that one’s
hard
work
is not taken for granted by the
company
.

Secondly
, the money can be
used
as additional funds for their daily expenses. I know
some
of us have part-time jobs on weekends
just
to be able to provide for their family.
Thus
, it would be a great
help
to most of us if we received extra cash to spend for our daily cost of living. If we’re paid
recurrently
for the overtime
work
, we won’t need a second job and the time that we spent on weekends at
work
will
now
be allotted
to our family.

Lastly
, we can allocate the supplementary income in our savings. It is always
good
to
keep
money for rainy days since we do not know when we might need it. If we receive money
regularly
as oppose to
a lump-sum payment such as the annual bonus, we could build a habit of saving money.

I
really
appreciate that you’re considering our feedback and I hope that you’ll consider the points that I have provided
before
you
make
your final decision.
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IELTS essay You work in a busy office. Sometimes you work overtime. Your manager wants to pay extra money for each hour of overtime; however, some people disagree. They think the staff should get extra money as a bonus once a year if the company makes money. The manager has asked you to respond to an opinion survey.

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
233 words
This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1
5.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 6.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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