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Obesity around the world impacts to children. Give your solution!

Obesity around the world impacts to children. Give your solution! yX7ld
Nowadays, there has been a sharp increase in the number of people who have obesity all over the world. Many children and adults are struggling to solve this problem caused by several reasons. This essay will look at the reasons behind it and propose some solutions. One of the main causes of the problem is food consumption. In many cases, such as in Indonesia, lots of students tend to buy and consume a large amount of junk food, whether in school, college, or even in their own home. They prefer to eat food cooked instantly. A solution is for teachers and family to encourage their students and family members not to buy junk food, try to feed them healthy food as a lifestyle. Another problem is that many stores and companies produce junk food. Most junk food is becoming more and more popular today. They sell lots of unhealthy consumption to adults who usually face hard time to make beverages by themselves. This way forward might be to reduce and limit their existence by for example increasing tax on companies selling junk food. To sum up, it is clear that today obesity is one of the problems that our society faces in many countries due to some reasons such as consuming unhealthy food, lifestyle, and many huge corporations selling junk food. This is a serious problem, unless the government takes a step on junk food spread, many pupils will not have a healthy body. My view is that the main responsibility for tackling this problem lies with parents, teachers, and the government.
Nowadays, there has been a sharp increase in the number of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
who have obesity all over the world.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Many
children and adults are struggling to solve this
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
problem
caused by several reasons. This essay will look at the reasons behind it and propose
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
solutions.

One of the main causes of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
problem
is
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
consumption. In
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
cases, such as in Indonesia, lots of students tend to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
buy
and consume a large amount of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
junk
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
, whether in school, college, or even in their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
home. They prefer to eat
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
cooked
instantly
. A solution is for teachers and family to encourage their students and family members not to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
buy
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
junk
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
, try to feed them healthy
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
as a lifestyle.

Another
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
problem
is that
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
stores and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
companies
produce
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
junk
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
. Most
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
junk
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
is becoming more and more popular
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
today
. They sell lots of unhealthy consumption to adults who
usually
face
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
hard
time to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
beverages by themselves. This way forward might be to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduce
and limit their existence by
for example
increasing tax on
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
companies
selling
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
junk
food.

To sum up, it is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
clear
that
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
today
obesity is one of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
problems
that our society faces in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
countries due to
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
reasons such as consuming unhealthy
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
, lifestyle, and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
huge corporations selling
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
junk
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
. This is a serious
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
problem
, unless the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
takes a step on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
junk
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
spread,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
pupils will not have a healthy body. My view is that the main responsibility for tackling this
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
problem
lies with parents, teachers, and the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
.
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IELTS essay Obesity around the world impacts to children. Give your solution!

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
262 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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