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obesisity has become one of the major problems

obesisity has become one of the major problems 8dwrw
In my opinion, the two main causes of overweight are, over-consuming of junk food and inaction. Nowadays, the vast majority of people choose an easier and faster way to pass their meal. This thought, forward them to consume ready and fast foods. Eating ready food sometimes doesn't hurt our health. However, consuming this kind of meal is regularly is a serious risk for human health. For instance, if a person who works in an office job and has an inaction life eats frequently ready-foods, it may cause cardiac and increase the fat level in his body. Moreover, even though eating unhealthy foods with a regular exercise life may protect you from becoming overweight. Besides this, though this reduces the health problems there is still a risk for health problems. It is thought that the best solution to the overweight problem is to start on a diet program and exercise daily. Firstly, making a diet program by a dietician especially for the person who is struggling with an overweight problem is essential. Secondly, becoming a habit the exercising in daily life by taking support from a professional personal trainer particularly prepared for your body-weight. Instead, you may prepare your own program. However, consulting an expert is would be a more efficient way. In conclusion, It is clear that people are having obesity problems. Most people don't take an action to make a diet program and not avoiding to consume junk food. In addition, one of the biggest causes of this problem is to not have a sportive activity in life plans. It is really important to keep in shape and to protect us from serious health diseases.
In my opinion, the two main causes of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
overweight
are, over-consuming of junk
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
and inaction. Nowadays, the vast majority of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people


choose an easier and faster way to pass their meal. This
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
thought
, forward them to consume ready and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
fast
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
foods
. Eating ready
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
sometimes
doesn't hurt our
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
health
.
However
, consuming this kind of meal is
regularly
is a serious
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
risk
for human
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
health
.
For instance
, if a person who works in an office job and has an inaction
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
eats
frequently
ready-foods, it may cause cardiac and increase the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
fat
level in his body.

Moreover
,
even though
eating unhealthy
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
foods
with a regular exercise
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
may protect you from becoming
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
overweight
.
Besides
this, though this
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduces
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
health
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
problems
there is
still
a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
risk
for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
health
problems.

It is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
thought
that the best solution to the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
overweight
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
problem
is to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
start
on a diet
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
program
and exercise daily.
Firstly
, making a diet
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
program
by a
Possible spelling mistake found.
dietician
especially
for the person who is struggling with an
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
overweight
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
problem
is essential.
Secondly
, becoming a habit the exercising in daily
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
by taking support from a professional personal trainer
particularly
prepared for your body-weight.
Instead
, you may prepare your
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
program
.
However
, consulting an expert is would be a more efficient way.

In conclusion
, It is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
clear
that
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
are having obesity
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
problems
. Most
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
don't take an action to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
a diet
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
program
and not
The verb 'avoiding' is used with the gerund form: "avoiding consuming".
avoiding to consume
junk
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
.
In addition
, one of the biggest causes of this
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
problem
is to not have a sportive activity in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
plans. It is
really
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
keep
in shape and to protect us from serious
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
health
diseases.
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IELTS essay obesisity has become one of the major problems

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
276 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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