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Numbers of road accidents are increasing day by day. Automobile companies have ensured to have better safety measures. However, cases are on the rise. Why is it so? Discuss. v.1

Numbers of road accidents are increasing day by day. Automobile companies have ensured to have better safety measures. However, cases are on the rise. Why is it so? Discuss. v. 1
Online education is becoming popular throughout the world. Several universities are providing their e-learning courses in order to people can enrol. From my perspective, this trend is a positive development. It is understandable that the university online course is able to generate some drawbacks to society. To begin with, when people study through the internet, they can misunderstand knowledge from teachers, because this process is the lack of face-to-face interaction and students just ask the questions by sending text messages to their teachers. For example, many courses on the internet are prepared beforehand, therefore when people join this e-learning course, they even do not collaborate with their teacher, leading to studying ineffectively. Despite the negatives mentioned above, online university courses are positive developments for several reasons. Firstly, they might help people have a lot of opportunities to choose any courses they want to learn, therefore people are likely to follow the appropriate programs of studying. In addition, many particular courses just offer on the internet like artificial intelligence which is not taught by universities in Vietnam, hence people have chances to study these subjects through on the internet. Secondly, thanks to online university courses, people are able to save a noticeable amount of money, because online courses are cheaper than offline courses, thus people might invest their money in studying efficiently. Finally, studying online allow people to save a range of time for themselves because they are able to learn anytime appropriate with their schedules in a day. For example, office workers spend eight hours in their companies, thus they are possible to enrol a course online about English after working-hours. In conclusion, studying to become easier than ever through online courses of universities. Although this tendency can bring a negative development, I strongly believe that this has a further positive development.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Online
education is becoming popular throughout the world. Several
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
universities
are providing their e-learning
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
courses
in order to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
can enrol. From my perspective, this trend is a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
development.

It is understandable that the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
university
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
online
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
course
is able to generate
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
drawbacks to society. To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
begin
with, when
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
study through the internet, they can misunderstand knowledge from teachers,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
this process is the lack of face-to-face interaction and students
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
ask the questions by sending text messages to their teachers.
For example
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
courses
on the internet
are prepared
beforehand,
therefore
when
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
join
this e-learning
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
course
, they even do not collaborate with their teacher, leading to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
studying
ineffectively
.

Despite the negatives mentioned above,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
online
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
university
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
courses
are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
developments for several reasons.
Firstly
, they might
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
have
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
opportunities to choose any
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
courses
they want to learn,
therefore
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
are likely to follow the appropriate programs of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
studying
.
In addition
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
particular
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
courses
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
offer on the internet like artificial intelligence which is not taught by
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
universities
in Vietnam,
hence
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
have chances to study these subjects through on the internet.
Secondly
, thanks to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
online
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
university
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
courses
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
are able to save a noticeable amount of money,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
online
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
courses
are cheaper than offline
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
courses
,
thus
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
might invest their money in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
studying
efficiently
.
Finally
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
studying
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
online
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
allow
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
to save a range of time for themselves
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
they are able to learn anytime appropriate with their schedules in a day.
For example
, office workers spend eight hours in their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
companies
,
thus
they are possible to enrol a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
course
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
online
about English after working-hours.

In conclusion
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
studying
to become easier than ever through
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
online
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
courses
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
universities
. Although this tendency can bring a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
development, I
strongly
believe that this has a
further
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
development.
7Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7Mistakes

IELTS essay Numbers of road accidents are increasing day by day. Automobile companies have ensured to have better safety measures. However, cases are on the rise. Why is it so? Discuss. v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
302 words
7
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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