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Nowdays, our societies are becoming more and more technology savvy, as a result of this notion many people beliefs that computer should be considered in the classroom curriculum in place of direct teaching methodology. But there are few risks associated with our dependence on computers. I would like to talk about on its positive and negative impacts

Nowdays, our societies are becoming more and more technology savvy, as a result of this notion many people beliefs that computer should be considered in the classroom curriculum in place of direct teaching methodology. But there are few risks associated with our dependence on computers. I would like to talk about on its positive and negative impacts 265XA
First and foremost if computers are introduced at school level then it will give opportunities to children learn their lessons in a faster manner. Young adults are more inclined towards the gadgets which will results in increasing their involvement in studies. In India the concept of smart classes was started very early by Delhi Government as they were the first to encash that if education is being taught creatively then it would had a longer impact on students. Furthermore as
First
and foremost if computers
are introduced
at school level then it will give opportunities to children learn their lessons in a faster manner. Young adults are more inclined towards the gadgets which will results in increasing their involvement in studies. In India the concept of smart classes was
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
started
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
early by Delhi
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
Government
as they were the
first
to
Possible spelling mistake found.
encash
that if education is
being taught
creatively
then it would
The verb 'would' requires the base form of the verb: "have"
had
a longer impact on students.
Furthermore
Please add a punctuation mark at the end of paragraph
as
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IELTS essay Nowdays, our societies are becoming more and more technology savvy, as a result of this notion many people beliefs that computer should be considered in the classroom curriculum in place of direct teaching methodology. But there are few risks associated with our dependence on computers. I would like to talk about on its positive and negative impacts

Essay
  American English
1 paragraphs
79 words
This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1
5.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 6.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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