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Nowdays, Many people have access to computers on a wide basis and a large number of children play computer games. What are the negative impects of children playing computers games and what cam be done to minimize the bad effects?

Nowdays, Many people have access to computers on a wide basis and a large number of children play computer games. What are the negative impects of children playing computers games and what cam be done to minimize the bad effects? pke3
Computers are generally entered into the our personal lives. It is became part of life. Nowadays children become more addicted to gaming on computers. However, playing video games on computer is so harmful for yongsters therefore the propotion of playing computer games should be reduced. It has a negetive side effects. So that this essay will discuss the problems and solutions of the negative effect of the playing games. To begin with, Change in behavior in children is the main impact of playing video games. Due to playing more time computer games, children will lose their mental abilities. Sometimes yongsters becoming victime of irritability and more agresive to their relatives. Secondly, In the case of over gaming, adolescents stay far away from their social life. They do not maintain a strong relationship with their friends and relatives. Over the past, toddlers used to play outdooe games with their friends which resulted in the develpoment of skills and teamwork. So, they were fit and they did not face any type of heath issues but today obesity is major problem of kids. On the other side, there are several ways to reduce the bad effects of playing computer games. Firstly, It is the resposibilities of parents to ascertain that their child is not spending maximum time of playing games. They should give knowledge of set proper timing to play computer games. Morever, children must avoid agressive games and allure games. Some times kids being victims of suicide, accident and crime because of some perticular games like PUBG, Blue Whale, Pokemon GO etcetera. So child awareness is most important to stop wasting time and negative effects. To summarise, every games have positive and negetive sides, it is depend upon the use of the games. However, proper guidence and maintaning timing of the playing will help to reduce of negative impacts.
Computers are
generally
entered into
A determiner cannot combine with a possessive pronoun. Did you mean simply "our personal" or "the personal"?
the our personal
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lives
. It is
Consider using a past participle here: "become".
became
part of life. Nowadays
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
become more addicted to gaming on computers.
However
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
playing
video
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
games
on computer is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
harmful for
Possible spelling mistake found.
yongsters
therefore
the
Possible spelling mistake found.
propotion
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
playing
computer
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
games
should be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduced
. It has a
Possible spelling mistake found.
negetive
side effects.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
that this essay will discuss the problems and solutions of the
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
effect of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
playing
games.

To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
begin
with,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
Change
in behavior in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
is the main impact of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
playing
video
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
games
. Due to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
playing
more
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
computer
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
games
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
will lose their mental abilities.
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
Sometimes
Possible spelling mistake found.
yongsters
becoming
Possible spelling mistake found.
victime
of irritability and more
Possible spelling mistake found.
agresive
to their relatives.
Secondly
, In the case of over gaming, adolescents stay far away from their social life. They do not maintain a strong relationship with their friends and relatives. Over the past, toddlers
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
to play
Possible spelling mistake found.
outdooe
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
games
with their friends which resulted in the
Possible spelling mistake found.
develpoment
of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
and teamwork.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
, they were
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
fit and
they did not face any type of heath issues
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
today
obesity is major problem of kids.

On the other side, there are several ways to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduce
the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
bad
effects of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
playing
computer
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
games
.
Firstly
, It is the
Possible spelling mistake found.
resposibilities
of parents to ascertain that their child is not spending maximum
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
playing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
games
. They should give knowledge of set proper timing to play computer
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
games
.
Possible spelling mistake found.
Morever
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
avoid
Possible spelling mistake found.
agressive
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
games
and allure
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
games
.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
times
kids being victims of suicide, accident and crime
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
Possible spelling mistake found.
perticular
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
games
like PUBG, Blue Whale,
'Pokemon' is an imported foreign expression, which originally has a diacritic. Consider using "Pokémon"
Pokemon
GO etcetera.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
child awareness is most
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
stop
wasting
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
effects.

To
Possible spelling mistake. 'summarise' is British English.
summarise
, every
The noun should be probably in the singular form: "game"?
games
have
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
and
Possible spelling mistake found.
negetive
sides, it is
Consider using a past participle here: "depended".
depend
upon the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
games
.
However
, proper
Possible spelling mistake found.
guidence
and
Possible spelling mistake found.
maintaning
timing of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
playing
will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduce
of
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
impacts.
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IELTS essay Nowdays, Many people have access to computers on a wide basis and a large number of children play computer games. What are the negative impects of children playing computers games and what cam be done to minimize the bad effects?

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
307 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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