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Nowadays young people spend too much of their time in shopping malls. This has negative effects on themselves and the society they live in.

Nowadays young people spend too much of their time in shopping malls. This has negative effects on themselves and the society they live in. o5rMB
Due to the development of a large metropolis, there are numerous shopping malls built. The Younger generation spend their leisure time in shopping malls these days. From my perspective, I believe that it is a disadvantage to themselves and their society. On the one hand, it is undeniable that shopping malls are beneficial for several reasons. To start with, shopping centers make youngsters unwind after a stressful day because shopping malls have a range of entertainment places such as cinema, coffee shops or restaurants. As a result, young people are able to choose suitable options which ensure they relax and escape the busy days. Additionally, shopping malls boost economic countries due to the fact that it addresses the problem of unemployment. Shopping malls create a variety of occupations such as waiters, bartenders, cooks and sellers. On the other hand, individuals should not underestimate the drawbacks of shopping centers. Firstly, spending time in shopping malls is aimlessly wasting money because youngsters are exposing themselves to large amounts of advertising and products. Therefore, it drives their desire to purchase and consume more even though young individuals do not need these items. Secondly, the young generation who spend too much time wandering around shopping malls are missing out on important time that could be focused on study. For instance, if students wallow in playing at shopping centers instead of studying, they can get a bad score or fail the exam. In conclusion, there are pros and cons of spending time in a shopping mall but the negative impact outweighs the benefits.
Due to the development of a large metropolis, there are numerous
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
shopping
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
malls
built. The Younger generation spend their leisure
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
shopping
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
malls
these days. From my perspective, I believe that it is a disadvantage to themselves and their society.

On the one hand, it is undeniable that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
shopping
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
malls
are beneficial for several reasons. To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
start
with,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
shopping
centers
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
youngsters unwind after a stressful day
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
shopping
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
malls
have a range of entertainment places such as cinema, coffee shops or restaurants.
As a result
, young
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
are able to choose suitable options which ensure they relax and escape the busy days.
Additionally
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
shopping
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
malls
boost economic countries due to the fact that it addresses the problem of unemployment.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Shopping
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
malls
create a variety of occupations such as waiters, bartenders, cooks and sellers.

On the other hand
, individuals should not underestimate the drawbacks of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
shopping
centers.
Firstly
, spending
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
shopping
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
malls
is
aimlessly
wasting money
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
youngsters are exposing themselves to large amounts of advertising and products.
Therefore
, it drives their desire to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
purchase
and consume more
even though
young individuals do not need these items.
Secondly
, the young generation who spend too much
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
wandering around
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
shopping
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
malls
are missing out on
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
that could
be focused
on study.
For instance
, if students wallow in playing at
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
shopping
centers
instead
of studying, they can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
bad
score or fail the exam.

In conclusion
, there are pros and cons of spending
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
in a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
shopping
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
mall
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
the
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
impact outweighs the benefits.
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IELTS essay Nowadays young people spend too much of their time in shopping malls. This has negative effects on themselves and the society they live in.

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
258 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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