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Nowadays young people mostly learn by reading books or watching movies and TV shows, rather than personal experience. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement? Give reasons for your answer and include relevant examples from your knowledge and experience.

Nowadays young people mostly learn by reading books or watching movies and TV shows, rather than personal experience. with this statement? VBae7
Young people are the next ones to take up the mantle in this world. Hence it is really important for them to get the right knowledge from various sources to make a healthy living for themselves in this society. There can be multiple sources from which young people can gain information from. However there is a huge debate going on between two kinds of people who think that young people should rely on books or movies as their primary source of information and the kind who thinks that personal experience outweighs any other mediums of information. I personally have a neutral stand and I will try to explain both sides in the coming paragraphs. One of the main reasons why I agree to reading books or watching movies is because of the broader reach and availability of these resources. In today's world internet has became an integral part of day to day lifestyle and because of which we can access books, movies, TV shows online in just a few clicks. Internet play a very vital role in young people's life and hence it is the first go to medium for any kind of help they need to the hiccups coming their way. Another reason which I feel plays a crucial role is the amount of time required to extract information and the sophistication of content available from any of these sources. This is far more less than the time it takes to gain knowledge from personal experiences. An avid reader can read hundreds of pages just within a day to two, or one can just watch a series of how cars are getting manufactured in an assembly line within a few hours. There is a lot of content available depending on the skill level of the learner ranging from a beginner to professionals. Although, there are many reasons to agree, we also have many reasons to disagree. To begin with, we can easily say that personal experiences are the best teachers. Theoretical knowledge is just a drop of water in the ocean. Yes we can read, analyze and understand how to do a thing or uses of that metal or surviving in the wild. But, practical experience is a different ball game altogether. All of our theory would be a waste if we do not know who to apply them in real life scenarios. Another reason which is equally important is that personal experiences help us in boosting our confidence and building up a character. We will do many things for first time, and those can be in our comfort zone or not. By getting involved a person will learn to tackle the problems coming his/her way, adapt to any new habitat he/she is forced to work in, and communicate with strangers when needed. These skills are worth more than any treasures or theoretical knowledge and help in shaping a bright future. To conclude, I would say that shaping peoples minds is above anything else. And to do it effectively, we can to use the best of both worlds without relying on any one mechanism. Information when read and applied successfully leads in the best possible results and this can impart good knowledge in young learners.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Young
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
are the
next
ones to take up the mantle in this world.
Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
Hence
it is
really
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
for them to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
the right
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
knowledge
from various
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sources
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
a healthy living for themselves in this society. There can be multiple
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sources
from which
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
young
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
can gain
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
information
from.
Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
However
there is a huge debate going on between two kinds of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
who
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
young
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
should rely on books or movies as their primary
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
source
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
information
and the kind who
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
thinks
that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
personal
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
experience
outweighs any other mediums of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
information
. I
personally
have a neutral stand and I will try to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
explain
both sides in the coming paragraphs.

One of the main
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
reasons
why I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
to reading books or watching movies is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of the broader reach and availability of these resources. In
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
today
's world internet has
Use past participle here: "become".
became
an integral part of day to day lifestyle and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of which we can access books, movies, TV
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
shows
online in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
a few clicks. Internet
Consider using third-person verb forms for singular and mass nouns: "plays".
play
a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
vital role in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
young
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
's life and
hence
it is the
first
go to medium for any kind of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
they need to the hiccups coming their way. Another
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
reason
which I feel plays a crucial role is the amount of time required to extract
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
information
and the sophistication of content available from any of these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sources
. This is far
Use only "less" (without 'more') when you use the comparative.
more less
than the time it takes to gain
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
knowledge
from
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
personal
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
experiences
. An avid reader can read hundreds of pages
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
within a day to two, or one can
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
watch
a series of how cars are getting manufactured in an assembly line within a few hours. There is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
content available depending on the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skill
level of the learner ranging from a beginner to professionals.

Although, there are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
reasons
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
, we
also
have
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
reasons
to disagree. To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
begin
with, we can
easily
say that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
personal
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
experiences
are the best teachers. Theoretical
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
knowledge
is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
a drop of water in the ocean. Yes we can read, analyze and understand how to do a thing or
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
uses
of that metal or surviving in the wild.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
But
, practical
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
experience
is a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
ball game altogether. All of our theory would be a waste if we do not know who to apply them in real life scenarios. Another
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
reason
which is
equally
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
is that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
personal
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
experiences
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
us in boosting our confidence and building up a character. We will do
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
things for
first
time, and those can be in our comfort zone or not. By getting involved a person will learn to tackle the problems coming his/her way, adapt to any new habitat he/she
is forced
to work in, and communicate with strangers when needed. These
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
are worth more than any treasures or theoretical
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
knowledge
and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
in shaping a bright future.

To conclude
, I would say that shaping
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
peoples
minds is above anything else. And to do it
effectively
, we can to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
the best of both worlds without relying on any one mechanism.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Information
when read and applied
successfully
leads in the best possible results and this can impart
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
knowledge
in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
young
learners.
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IELTS essay Nowadays young people mostly learn by reading books or watching movies and TV shows, rather than personal experience. with this statement?

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
536 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 5.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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