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Nowadays, young people have the tendency to stay at home rather than going out for outdoor activities. Discuss the causes and solutions to this phenomenon.

Nowadays, young people have the tendency to stay at home rather than going out for outdoor activities. Discuss the causes and solutions to this phenomenon. 6a2jW
Nowadays, young people prefer to stay at home rather than go outside. There are several reasons for explaining and resolving this issue. I'll explain why in the article below, as well as how to remedy the problem. The first is why young people want to stay indoors instead of being active or outside. The impact of the epidemic is the first thing that comes to mind. The pandemic is now highly distressing, therefore we have to study and work online. As a result, we don't have the time or opportunity to go out. Furthermore, we have a lengthy lookdown. Furthermore, technological advancements have provided us with greater conveniences than ever before. We may stay at home and buy something from another country, order meals online, study and make money online, or go to a stadium-like concert. As a result, many young people may find that going out is no longer required because they can now accomplish everything at home. The second point concerns the remedy; there are several methods for young people to get outside and engage in more outdoor activities. The lowering of the epidemic is the item that can have the greatest favorable impact. People are not frightened to go out because of the outbreak at that time, thus tourism and festivities may continue. Many young individuals will typically join in festival activities. Increasing retail or public-area services, such as making the atmosphere cleaner and more open, will also encourage young people to come out and about. Popularizing health and environmental issues will also have a positive impact. Finally, while it is true that today's youth are becoming increasingly fearful of outdoor activities, there are valid reasons for this; we must actively enhance the living environment in order to establish a decent existence more appealing.
Nowadays,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
young
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
prefer to stay at home
rather
than go outside. There are several reasons for explaining and resolving this issue. I'll
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
explain
why in the article below,
as well
as how to remedy the problem.

The
first
is why
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
young
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
want to stay indoors
instead
of being active or outside. The impact of the epidemic is the
first
thing that
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
comes
to mind.
Three successive sentences begin with the same word. Consider rewording the sentence or use a thesaurus to find a synonym.
The
pandemic is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
now
highly
distressing,
therefore
we
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
study and work online.
As a result
, we don't have the time or opportunity to go out.
Furthermore
, we have a lengthy
Possible spelling mistake found.
lookdown
.
Two successive sentences begin with the same adverb. Consider rewording the sentence or use a thesaurus to find a synonym.
Furthermore
, technological advancements have provided us with greater conveniences than ever
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
before
. We may stay at home and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
buy
something from another country, order meals online, study and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
money online, or go to a stadium-like concert.
As a result
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
young
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
may find that going out is no longer required
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
they can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
now
accomplish everything at home.

The second point concerns the remedy; there are several methods for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
young
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
outside and engage in more outdoor activities. The lowering of the epidemic is the item that can have the greatest favorable impact.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
People
are not frightened to go out
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of the outbreak at that time,
thus
tourism and festivities may continue.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
young
individuals will
typically
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
join
in festival activities. Increasing retail or public-area services, such as making the atmosphere cleaner and more open, will
also
encourage
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
young
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
come
out and about. Popularizing health and environmental issues will
also
have a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
impact.

Finally
, while it is true that
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
today
's youth are becoming
increasingly
fearful of outdoor activities, there are valid reasons for this; we
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
actively
enhance the living environment in order to establish a decent existence more appealing.
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IELTS essay Nowadays, young people have the tendency to stay at home rather than going out for outdoor activities. Discuss the causes and solutions to this phenomenon.

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
297 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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