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Nowadays, young people are less active in their leisure time than in the past.

Nowadays, young people are less active in their leisure time than in the past. g8Ae7
Nowadays, young people are less active in their leisure time than in the past. For that reason, sports lessons must be compulsory in schools. I totally agree with the statement and in this essay, i will give reasons. Firstly, physical activity improves children’s mental well-being. Feel-good chemicals in the brain, known as endorphins, are released by the brain during physical activity and help to improve humor. Some people believe that sports are only for fitness and, therefore, do not encourage their children to exercise. Sports are helpful for the health of the body, for example, sport reduces stress and depression and boosts our self-confidence. Additionally, sports help children learn discipline and working with others as a team. Having discipline helps with staying organized, active, having more self-control and staying focused. Sports can help children develop strong leadership skills by teaching them how to voice their needs, such as talking about issues with a couch and to listen to the needs of their teammates. Moreover, some young people do not enjoy sport. There must be a variety of sports for children to choose their desired, which make them joyfully, not to be anxiety. To sum up, i believe that sports lessons must be obligatory in schools because of their benefits. However, no one should force children to exercise, which causes them pressure.
Nowadays, young
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
are less active in their leisure time than in the past. For that reason,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sports
lessons
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
be compulsory in schools. I
totally
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
with the statement and in this essay,
Did you mean "I"?
i
will give reasons.

Firstly
, physical activity
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improves
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children’s
mental well-being. Feel-
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
chemicals in the brain, known as endorphins,
are released
by the brain during physical activity and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
help
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improve
humor.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
believe that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sports
are
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
for fitness and,
therefore
, do not encourage their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
to exercise.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Sports
are helpful for the health of the body,
for example
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sport
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduces
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
stress
and depression and boosts our self-confidence.

Additionally
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sports
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
help
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
learn discipline and working with others as a team. Having discipline
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
helps
with staying organized, active, having more self-control and staying focused.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Sports
can
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
help
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
develop strong leadership
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
by teaching them how to voice their needs, such as talking about issues with a couch and to listen to the needs of their teammates.

Moreover
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
young
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
do not enjoy
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sport
. There
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
be a variety of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sports
for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
to choose their desired, which
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
them
joyfully
, not to be anxiety.

To sum up,
Is this the personal pronoun "I"? It is spelled uppercase.
i
believe that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sports
lessons
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
be obligatory in schools
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of their benefits.
However
, no one should force
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
to exercise, which causes them pressure.
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IELTS essay Nowadays, young people are less active in their leisure time than in the past.

Essay
  American English
5 paragraphs
221 words
This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1
5.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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