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NOWADAYS YOUNG PEOPLE ARE ADMIRING MEDIA AND SPORTS STAR EVEN THOUGH THEY DO NOT SET A GOOD EXAMPLES DO YOU THINK IT IS POSITIVE OR NEGATIVE DEVELOPMENT

NOWADAYS YOUNG PEOPLE ARE ADMIRING MEDIA AND SPORTS STAR EVEN THOUGH THEY DO NOT SET A GOOD EXAMPLES DO YOU THINK IT IS POSITIVE OR NEGATIVE DEVELOPMENT 25NRo
In these days media play vital role in people's life. Todays people are influenced from them which is not good for them this trend has many negative effects which will be discussed in upcoming paragraphs. No doubt young people learn Manu things from film stars and also learn how they become successful and hard work is the key of success but its negative effects cannot be overlooked. The primary drawbacks is media create violence in society when people see action movies after watching these movies they do try this in reality. Thus, crime is increased and it not only effect on people but also society. Recent studies have shown that more than 60% of crime is committed by young people after watching a violence movies since in these movies their role models are doing crimes. Moreover, in films actors take drugs and local people especially young generation follow them and use these drugs in their life which is harmful for them. Because when they when they do smoking and it is more dangerous for passive smoker rather than active smoker Hence, media and sport stars put bad impacts on society as well as people's life In addition to this, young people follow the new trend they want to wear same clothes and shoes as film stars wear. many poor people are not able to afford these expensive clothes for their children and it distrub the family budget and create misunderstandings between patents and Children. These days number of people are unemployed they are unable to complete their basic needs if their children force them to buy expensive things and give high quality gifts to them. Therefore, it effects children as well as parent's mind. In some situation youth do suicide. In recent survey shows that almost 55%of young people want to live luxury lifestyle since they influence of media and their role models In conclusion, although media has some advantages yet it's negative effects are more than its postive side
In these days
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
media
play vital role in
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
's life.
Possible spelling mistake found.
Todays
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
are influenced
from them which is not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
for them this trend has
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
effects which will
be discussed
in upcoming paragraphs.

No doubt
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
young
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
learn
Possible spelling mistake found.
Manu
things from film stars and
also
learn how they become successful and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
hard
work is the key of success
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
its
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
effects cannot
be overlooked
. The primary drawbacks is
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
media
create violence in society when
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
see
action
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
movies
after watching these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
movies
they do try this in reality.
Thus
, crime
is increased
and it not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
Did you mean "affect"?
effect
on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
also
society. Recent studies have shown that more than 60% of crime
is committed
by
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
young
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
after watching a violence
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
movies
since in these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
movies
their role models are doing crimes.
Moreover
, in films actors take drugs and local
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
especially
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
young
generation follow them and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
these drugs in their life which is harmful for them.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Because
This phrase is duplicated. You should probably leave only "when they".
when they when they
The usual collocation for an activity ending in "-ing" is "go" not "do" or "play." Revise: "go smoking".
do smoking
and it is more
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
dangerous
for passive smoker
rather
than active smoker
Hence
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
media
and sport stars put
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
bad
impacts on society
as well
as
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
's
Please add a punctuation mark at the end of paragraph
life


In addition
to this,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
young
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
follow the new trend they want to wear same clothes and shoes as film stars wear.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
many
poor
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
are not able to afford these expensive clothes for their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
and it
Possible spelling mistake found.
distrub
the family budget and create misunderstandings between patents and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Children
. These days number of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
are unemployed
they are unable to complete their basic needs if their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
force them to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
buy
expensive things and give high quality gifts to them.
Therefore
, it effects
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
as well
as parent's mind. In
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
situation youth do suicide. In recent survey
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
shows
that almost 55%of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
young
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
want to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
luxury lifestyle since they influence of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
media
and their role
Please add a punctuation mark at the end of paragraph
models


Three successive sentences begin with the same word. Consider rewording the sentence or use a thesaurus to find a synonym.
In
conclusion, although
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
media
has
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
advantages
yet
it's
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
effects are more than its
Possible spelling mistake found.
postive
side
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IELTS essay NOWADAYS YOUNG PEOPLE ARE ADMIRING MEDIA AND SPORTS STAR EVEN THOUGH THEY DO NOT SET A GOOD EXAMPLES DO YOU THINK IT IS POSITIVE OR NEGATIVE DEVELOPMENT

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
329 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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