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Nowadays , women as well as men work full time. Therefore, women and men should share household tasks equally. ( eg cleaning and looking after children ).To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Nowadays, women as well as men work full time. Therefore, women and men should share household tasks equally. ( eg cleaning and looking after children ). kYaDR
the issue of whether women and men should share a household together has been raising a lot of debates. Some might say that nowadays the boys and girls are fair at work so that they have to divide tasks such as cleaning and looking after children in order for the wife to have time for themself. On the contrary, others insist on the opinion that women’s responsibilities are to take care of their family from meals to sleep no matter what they are doing. Viewing from a general perspective, I personally agree with the former opinion for the following reasons. To begin with, modern women can do the same work compared with men, so households should be shared equally between them to show equality. Firstly, when the husband helps their wife the house chore can substantially help her release their pressure after hard-working. For example, the females will have time for relaxing if the males help her cook or wash clothes, sometimes it is small but it makes her get out of thinking like a servant. Secondly, bringing up children is an obligation of both mother and father so that men have to share with women. For, instance if the father drives the child to school, the mother will prepare breakfast for their baby, which leads to appropriate sharing in caring for the infant. Finally, today both genders are treated equally in societies and it is seen that females lead many companies on their own, therefore it is necessary for the husband to divide with his wife domestically to help them balance their life. On the other hand, some of the population think that the traditional women have to do all things which belong to their home including cleaning and looking after the baby and do not care what they have to do outside. However, it is unfair for the girls if they need to do a lot of things while their husband does nothing although they can make as much money as their man. In conclusion, nowadays, in the business environment, women can do more things than they did before and besides building the family needs contributions from both males and females. Therefore, in my, opinion the man should lend a hand in home chores is also playing her role by earning money for the family
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
the
issue of whether
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
women
and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
men
should share a household together has been raising
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
debates.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
might say that nowadays the boys and girls are
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
fair
at work
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
that they
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
divide tasks such as cleaning and looking after children in order for the wife to have time for
The term is non-standard and not widely accepted.
themself
.
On the contrary
, others insist on the opinion that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
women’s
responsibilities are to take care of their family from meals to sleep no matter what they are doing. Viewing from a general perspective, I
personally
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
with the former opinion for the following reasons.

To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
begin
with, modern
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
women
can do the same work compared with
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
men
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
households should
be shared
equally
between them to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
show
equality.
Firstly
, when the husband
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
helps
their wife the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
house
chore can
substantially
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
help
her release their pressure after
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
hard
-working.
For example
, the females will have time for relaxing if the males
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
help
her cook or wash clothes,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
sometimes
it is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
small
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
it
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
makes
her
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
out of thinking like a servant.
Secondly
, bringing up children is an obligation of both mother and father
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
that
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
men
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
share with
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
women
. For, instance if the father drives the child to school, the mother will prepare breakfast for their baby, which leads to appropriate sharing in caring for the infant.
Finally
,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
today
both genders
are treated
equally
in societies and it is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
seen
that females lead
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
companies
on their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
,
therefore
it is necessary for the husband to divide with his wife
domestically
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
help
them balance their life.

On the other hand
,
If the text is a generality, 'of the' is not necessary. Did you mean "some"?
some of the
population
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
that the traditional
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
women
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
do all things which belong to their home including cleaning and looking after the baby and do not care what they
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
do outside.
However
, it is unfair for the girls if they need to do
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
things while their husband does nothing although they can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
as much money as their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
man
.

In conclusion
, nowadays, in the business environment,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
women
can do more things than they did
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
before
and
besides
building the family needs contributions from both males and females.
Therefore
, in my, opinion the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
man
should lend a hand in home chores is
also
playing her role by earning money for the family
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IELTS essay Nowadays, women as well as men work full time. Therefore, women and men should share household tasks equally. ( eg cleaning and looking after children ).

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
386 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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