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Nowadays with the development of technology

Nowadays with the development of technology b3eX6
Nowadays with the development of technology many people do their shopping online. Some people believe that in the future the main purpose of going to malls will be entertainment not shopping. While I agree with the idea to some extent, it is my firm belief that shopping reason will never be replaced by any forms of entertainment. These days online shopping has increased in popularity and most people prefer to shop from websites. For these people, a shopping mall will not be important place for shopping, Furthermore the shopping centers are interesting place for leisure and entertainment opportunities. For instance, today shopping malls include exhibition hall, Cinema and restaurant to attract people to spend their leisure time in malls. On other hand, shopping malls have some advantages for people who want to shop. People can enjoy buying goods with family members or friends. people who go shopping malls can avoid some disadvantages of other ways of buying like online shopping. For instance, they can check the size, quality and color of clothes which they buy and many buyers like these advantages. For these people, coffee shops, gyms and other amusing options are just additional elements to make the shopping experience more fascinating and enjoyable.
Nowadays with the development of technology
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many
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people
do their
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shopping
online.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
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people
believe that in the future the main purpose of going to
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malls
will be entertainment not
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shopping
. While I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
with the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
idea
to
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some
extent, it is my firm belief that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
shopping
reason will never
be replaced
by any forms of entertainment.

These days online
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
shopping
has increased in popularity and most
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
prefer to shop from websites. For these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
, a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
shopping
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
mall
will not be
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important
place for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
shopping
,
Furthermore
the
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shopping
centers are interesting place for leisure and entertainment opportunities.
For instance
,
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today
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shopping
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malls
include exhibition hall, Cinema and restaurant to attract
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people
to spend their leisure time in malls.

On other hand,
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shopping
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malls
have
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some
advantages for
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people
who want to shop.
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People
can enjoy buying
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
goods
with family members or friends.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
people
who go
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shopping
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
malls
can avoid
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
disadvantages of other ways of buying like online
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
shopping
.
For instance
, they can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
check
the size, quality and color of clothes which they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
buy
and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
buyers like these advantages. For these
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people
, coffee shops, gyms and other amusing options are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
additional elements to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
shopping
experience more fascinating and enjoyable.
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IELTS essay Nowadays with the development of technology

Essay
  American English
3 paragraphs
204 words
This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1
5.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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