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Some people believe that women should play an equal role as men in country police force or military force such as the army, while others think women are not suitable force these kind of jobs. Discuss the both view and give your opinion?

Some people believe that women should play an equal role as men in a country’s police force or military force, such as the army, while others think women are not suitable for these kinds of jobs. v. 8
Nowadays, women have been competing to men in every sector. Some people hold that females have similar right to work in defense organisation, whereas other have conflicting viewpoint. In this essay, I will throw some light on both view with certain facts and examples, however, I firmly believe that female should have been chanced to work in this field. In this paragraph, the people opinion of similar equality. First and foremost, female have decent nature that may helpful in case of taking decision. To explain it, mostly male have aggressive behaviour that cause problems even worse, however, in this situation female can easily handle it with their calm and non-aggressive nature and it would be beneficial for country. Secondly, working as army, police woman leave great message toward society. In brief, nowadays, most of the girls are not only choosing engineering sectors, but also opting in defence field to show their capabilities by getting motivated. For example, the recent survey shows that, approximately 40 % of girls took admission in army college that was double than past. However, few people opine that it is not perfect field for lady. To prominent factor is ladies are quite emotional. To put it more simply, women easily influenced with other distraction that does not show loyalty to country. What is more, if women are occupied with work, than their children will not receive perfect prenatal love. For example, in Mumbai, plethora of children, whom mother are working in police department were sent to hostel for their look after, thus, neither it is useful for mother nor children. To conclude, I reiterated that women are best in order to take decision and they motivated other too, therefore women need to get a chance to work in every field, but some tiny disadvantage should consider before it.
Nowadays,
women
have been competing to
men
in every sector.
Some
people
hold that
females
have similar right to
work
in defense
organisation
, whereas other have conflicting viewpoint. In this essay, I will throw
some
light on both view with certain facts and examples,
however
, I
firmly
believe that
female
should have
been chanced
to
work
in this field.

In this paragraph, the
people
opinion of similar equality.
First
and foremost,
female
have decent nature that
may helpful
in case of taking decision. To
explain
it,
mostly
male have aggressive
behaviour
that cause problems even worse,
however
, in this situation
female
can
easily
handle it with their calm and non-aggressive nature and it would be beneficial for country.
Secondly
, working as army, police woman
leave
great message toward society.
In brief
, nowadays, most of the girls are not
only
choosing engineering sectors,
but
also
opting in
defence
field to
show
their capabilities by getting motivated.
For example
, the recent survey
shows
that, approximately 40 % of girls took admission in army college that was
double
than past.

However
, few
people
opine that it is not perfect field for lady. To prominent factor is ladies are quite emotional. To put it more
simply
,
women
easily
influenced with other distraction that does not
show
loyalty to country.
What is more
, if
women
are occupied
with
work
, than their children will not receive perfect prenatal
love
.
For example
, in Mumbai, plethora of children, whom mother are working in police department were
sent
to hostel for their look after,
thus
, neither it is useful for mother nor children.

To conclude
, I reiterated that
women
are best in order to take
decision and
they motivated other too,
therefore
women
need to
get
a chance to
work
in every field,
but
some
tiny disadvantage should consider
before
it.
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To have another language is to possess a second soul.
Charlemagne

IELTS essay Some people believe that women should play an equal role as men in country police force or military force such as the army, while others think women are not suitable force these kind of jobs. Discuss the both view and give your opinion?

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
302 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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    Currently is not available
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