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nowadays , they have more opportunity to study abroad.

nowadays, they have more opportunity to study abroad. ebJkJ
The trend of studying abroad is becoming increasingly popular. Abroad studies provides better opportunities when compared to studies in own country. Besides, the salary package offered is extremely high when compared with of their own nation. This essay will discuss some positive and negative sides of pursing degree in foreign countries. Firstly, acquiring a degree from a developed country offers many job opportunities than a developing country. It is so because most of the western countries have huge number of industries and Information technology companies located within the surroundings. For example, United states has more number of data analytics companies, so there would be more job openings for data analytical role. Consequently, more are the companies more are the job openings. Besides to this, the pay scale in developed areas have more average salary than that of undeveloped areas. On the other hand, pursing a degree as well as living on our own, would cost huge amount of money when compared with living within homeland and getting a degree. For instance, Master degree in data science in India would cost around 1 to 2 lakh per year. But same degree in abroad would cost around 7 to 9 lakh per year and it varies with university to university as well as location to location. It is clear that money plays an crucial role in gaining a university degree. To conclude, the surge in pursuing a degree abroad is mainly due to the job openings and the compensation that they get in return, even though it costs more amount for completing the degree.
The trend of studying
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
abroad
is becoming
increasingly
popular.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Abroad
studies provides better opportunities when compared to studies in
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
.
Besides
, the salary package offered is
extremely
high when compared with of their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
nation. This essay will discuss
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
sides of pursing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
degree
in foreign countries.

Firstly
, acquiring a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
degree
from a developed
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
offers
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
opportunities than a developing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
. It is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
most of the western
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
have huge number of industries and Information technology
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
companies
located within the surroundings.
For example
,
The proper noun "United States" needs to be capitalized.
United states
has more number of data analytics
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
companies
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
there would be more
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
openings for data analytical role.
Consequently
, more are the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
companies
more are the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
openings.
Besides
to this, the pay scale in developed areas have more average salary than that of undeveloped areas.

On the other hand
, pursing a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
degree
as well
as living on our
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
, would
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cost
huge amount of money when compared with living within homeland and getting a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
degree
.
For instance
, Master
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
degree
in data science in India would
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cost
around 1 to 2
Possible agreement error. The noun 'lakh' seems to be countable, so consider using: "lakhs".
lakh
per year.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
But
same
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
degree
in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
abroad
would
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cost
around 7 to 9
Possible agreement error. The noun 'lakh' seems to be countable, so consider using: "lakhs".
lakh
per year and it varies with university to university
as well
as location to location. It is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
clear
that money plays
Use "a" instead of 'an' if the following word doesn't start with a vowel sound, e.g. 'a sentence', 'a university'
an
crucial role in gaining a university degree.

To conclude
, the surge in pursuing a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
degree
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
abroad
is
mainly
due to the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
openings and the compensation that they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
in return,
even though
it
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
costs
more amount for completing the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
degree
.
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IELTS essay nowadays, they have more opportunity to study abroad.

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
262 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
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    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
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    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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