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Nowadays, there are more and more people suffering from health problems. Why people choose unhealthy lifestyle? How could we resolve this problem?

Nowadays, there are more and more people suffering from health problems. Why people choose unhealthy lifestyle? How could we resolve this problem? KwDR0
It is often argued that preserving health is necessary to live our life long. Some people might think that the majority of people are hurting from the unhealthy lifestyle these days. This essay will address the perspective of the inhabitants’ lifestyle to suggest the problems and solutions. First of all, the competitive society may affect individuals’ life unhealthy. In other words, people have to work hard to survive in the complicated world which means they cannot afford to choose healthy food because they do no have a plenty of time to eat. For example, individuals would tend to have junk food because they would like to save the time. Moreover, the lack of exercise makes them unhealthy due to an abundance of tasks to do at the workplace. These issues might become people to choose not healthy lifestyle. On the other hand, there are some methods to deal with this phenomenon. The employers should give the flexible shifts for their employees because the number of people are so busy in their business recently. Furthermore, individuals might use a bicycle as exercises to improve their health. For instance, they would choose riding a bicycle when they go to work instead of driving a car because it is helpful to increase the stamina. Therefore, people may maintain the level of the well-being lifestyle when they implement the solutions. In conclusion, in spite of the fact that being healthy life is important, some people might suffer disease from health issues. The lack of physical activities and healthy food might be not good for people’s life nowadays. However, there are some answers to remove this problem to improve the lifestyle.
It is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
often
argued that preserving health is necessary to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
our
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
long.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
might
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
that the majority of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
are hurting from the unhealthy
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
lifestyle
these days. This essay will address the perspective of the inhabitants’
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
lifestyle
to suggest the problems and solutions.

This phrase is redundant. Consider using "first".
First of all
, the competitive society may affect individuals’
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
unhealthy.
In other words
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
work
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
hard
to survive in the complicated world which means they cannot afford to choose
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
healthy
food
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
they do no have a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
plenty
of time to eat.
For example
, individuals would tend to have junk food
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
they would like to save the time.
Moreover
, the lack of exercise
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
makes
them unhealthy due to an abundance of tasks to do at the workplace. These issues
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
might
become
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
to choose not
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
healthy
lifestyle.

On the other hand
, there are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
methods to deal with this phenomenon. The employers should give the flexible shifts for their employees
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
the number of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
busy in their business recently.
Furthermore
, individuals
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
might
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
a bicycle as exercises to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improve
their health.
For instance
, they would choose riding a bicycle when they go to work
instead
of driving a car
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
it is helpful to increase the stamina.
Therefore
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
may maintain the level of the well-being
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
lifestyle
when they implement the solutions.

In conclusion
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
in spite of
the fact that being
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
healthy
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
might
suffer disease from health issues. The lack of physical activities and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
healthy
food
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
might
be not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people’s
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
nowadays.
However
, there are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
answers to remove this problem to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improve
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
lifestyle
.
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IELTS essay Nowadays, there are more and more people suffering from health problems. Why people choose unhealthy lifestyle? How could we resolve this problem?

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
276 words
8
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 8.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 8.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 8.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 8.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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