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In the future the main reason for going to the shopping mall will be for entertainment not to shop. Do you agree or disagree?

In the future the main reason for going to the shopping mall will be for entertainment not to shop. g623
Since last a few years people prefer do shopping online than go shopping somewhere. And of course, they believe that in the near future human go shopping centers only for entertainment and getting pleasure. However, boh sides have benefits. I will consider each of these opinions and give my own views. To the beginning of my view is that there are many proc of shopping on the Internet. Firstly, you cannot see real appearance of the items because you will be able to watch pictures or videos. That's why, you have no chance to return them or you have to pay some percentage of their debt. Recently, I bought casual clothing for myself. Both size and quality was terrible. Secindly, the light side of distance shopping is to save your time which you can spend other useful and essential jobs at home. Thirdly, online shopping is also saving your money to fees, parking and you can reduce air pollution because of not to drive. Lastly, according to my view is that, supermarkets offer various useful services to be relax, to see amusing films, 3d actions on cinema simultaneously, doing shopping. People do either go shopping or do shopping on the internet. It is up to them.
“Since” at the beginning of a sentence usually requires a 2nd clause. Maybe a comma, question or exclamation mark is missing, or the sentence is incomplete and should be joined with the following sentence.
Since
last a few years
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
prefer do
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
shopping
Use "onliner" to make a comparison with this adjective.
online
than go
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
shopping
somewhere. And
of course
, they believe that in the near future human go
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
shopping
centers
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
for entertainment and getting pleasure.
However
,
Possible spelling mistake found.
boh
sides have benefits. I will consider each of these opinions and give my
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
views. To the beginning of my view is that there are
Possible agreement error. The noun proc seems to be countable; consider using: "many ".
many proc
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
shopping
on the Internet.
Firstly
, you cannot
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
see
real appearance of the items
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
you will be able to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
watch
pictures or videos. That's why, you have no chance to return them or you
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
pay
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
percentage of their debt. Recently, I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
bought
casual clothing for myself. Both size and quality was terrible.
Possible spelling mistake found.
Secindly
, the light side of distance
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
shopping
is to save your time which you can spend other useful and essential jobs at home.
Thirdly
, online
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
shopping
is
also
saving your money to fees, parking and you can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduce
air pollution
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of not to drive.
Lastly
, according to my view is that, supermarkets offer various useful services to be
Consider using a past participle here: "relaxed".
relax
, to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
see
amusing films, 3d actions on cinema
simultaneously
, doing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
shopping
.
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
People
do either go
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
shopping
or do
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
shopping
on the internet. It is up to them.
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IELTS essay In the future the main reason for going to the shopping mall will be for entertainment not to shop.

Essay
  American English
1 paragraphs
206 words
This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1
5.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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