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Nowadays the way many people interact with each other has changes because of technology. In what ways has technology affected the types of relationships people make? Has this become a positive or negative development?

The emergence of technology has influenced many aspects of human life, especially the way society interacts with each other. That understanding might lead to a question about how this development can change the way people communicate and the effects that it brings to us. Therefore, in this essay, I would like to suggest the answer to that case and give a plausible conclusion regarding that matter. To begin with, it can not be denied that the advancement of technology may change the interaction in which the society has. Based on my knowledge, since the rise of chatting application, the amount of face-to-face meeting in teenagers drops dramatically. They choose to hide from society, but very active in a virtual world. For example, if you can see, many teenagers have addicted to using their phones more frequently and tend to neglect other human beings near them. Also, they prefer to talk via social media rather than talking in person. The reason behind these acts is that because talking via chatting application is much more interesting and fun, you can use sticker or emoji to express your emotion and sometimes, you can hide your true feelings by using that pictures. Hence, it is very common that direct communication, such as talking in person, is reduced nowadays rather than in the past and many millennial people are more likely to communicate using a third party which is social media. Moreover, this innovation brings many positive effects for human lives as long as it is used in a normal level. If you realize, it can provide many alternative ways that we need it the most. For instance, under COVID-19 pandemic, we know that face-to-face meeting and social gathering are very prohibited by the laws, but we do understand that humans, in other terms, are a social creature that needs to socialize with their friends. Furthermore, to meet a win-win solution, we can use a zoom meeting or other social media that allows us to have a chit chat with our friends without breaking the laws. So, if there is no sophisticated technology, this virtual meeting can not be occured and people will much more suffer from loneliness in this pandemic situation. In a nutshell, it is true that the development of technology may change how people socialize with each other like teenagers tend to be busier with their gadget than talking with their friends, but if you can see as a whole matter, this is a wholesome innovation for human civilization which is very helpful to us. Thus, in the end, this cutting-edge innovation really brings many positive effects that help human lives, even it changes the way we used to communicate with others.
The emergence of technology

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has
influenced
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many
aspects of
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human
life,
especially
the way society interacts with each
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
. That understanding might lead to a question about how
Please add a punctuation mark at the end of paragraph.
this


development can
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change
the way
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people


This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter.
communicate
and the effects that it brings to us.
Therefore
, in this

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essay
, I would like to suggest the answer to that case and give a plausible conclusion regarding that matter.

To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
begin


with, it can not
be denied
that the advancement of technology

This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter.
may
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
change
the interaction in which the society has. Based on my knowledge, since the rise of chatting application, the amount of face-to-face
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
meeting
in
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
teenagers
drops
dramatically
. They choose to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
hide
from society,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
active in a virtual world.
For example
, if you can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
see
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
teenagers
have addicted to using their phones more
frequently
and tend to neglect
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
human
beings near them.
Also
, they prefer to talk via
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
social
media
rather
than talking in person. The reason behind these acts is that
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
talking via chatting application is much more interesting and fun, you can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
sticker or emoji to express your emotion and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
sometimes
, you can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
hide
your true feelings by using that pictures.
Hence
, it is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
common that direct communication, such

as talking in person, is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduced
nowadays
rather
than in the past and
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many
millennial
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people


are more likely to communicate using a third

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party
which is
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social
media.

Moreover
, this

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innovation
brings
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many
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
effects for
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human
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lives
as long as it is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
in a normal level. If you realize, it can provide
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
alternative ways that we need it the most.
For instance
, under COVID-19 pandemic, we know that face-to-face
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
meeting
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
social
gathering are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
prohibited by the laws,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
we do understand that
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humans
, in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
terms, are a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
social
creature that needs to socialize with their friends.
Furthermore
, to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
meet
a win-win solution, we can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
a
Did you mean the communication tool “Zoom” (= proper noun, capitalized)?
zoom
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meeting
or
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other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
social
media that
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
allows
us to have a
This word is normally spelled with a hyphen.
chit chat
with our friends without breaking the laws.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
, if there is no sophisticated technology, this

virtual
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
meeting
can not be
Possible spelling mistake. Did you mean “occurred”, the past tense form of the verb ‘occur’?
occured
and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people


will much more suffer from loneliness in this

This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter.
pandemic
situation.

In a nutshell, it is true that the development of technology

may
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change
how
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people


socialize with each
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other
like
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teenagers
tend to be busier with their gadget than talking with their friends,
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but
if you can
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see
as a whole matter, this

This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter.
is
a wholesome innovation for
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human
civilization which is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
helpful to us.
Thus
, in the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
end
, this

This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter.
cutting-edge
innovation
really
brings
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many
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
effects that
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
human
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lives
, even it
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
changes
the way we
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
to communicate with others.
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IELTS essay Nowadays the way many people interact with each other has changes because of technology. In what ways has technology affected the types of relationships people make? Has this become a positive or negative development?

Essay
  American English
21 paragraphs
450 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
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