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What causes this? what to o about it

A British journal has reported that we might anticipate higher morbidity due to obesity and cardiovascular diseases in corpulent people, in comparison to lethal hunger. This shocking expectation demonstrates that despite the sufficient production of food, hunger is still a matter of concern. I believe this phenomenon could occur as a result of both poor distribution of food around the globe and also, the region specific challenges of farming in certain territories. Henceforth, a major part of the problem would be solved, merely by solving the distribution issues. Although agriculture industry has experienced an expediated growth, but this growth is not uniform among all countries. Consequently, there are still some regions facing critical problems that compells their proper agriculture activities cease to exist, in an inevitable manner. A plethora of these problems have been reported. For example, droughts that linger so long are a problematic in a handful of places. Similarly, shortage and paucity in safe and innocous water is another problem in farming. These issues might eventually lead to either immense famines of pathogen associated diseases as a consequent of indigent soil and inappropirate water supply. On the other hand, poor distribution of consumables, is another source of problem, many families are facing financial issues in order to buy food. One particular way to solve this problem, is to send food to these regions that are deprived of the access to proper foods. Enormous food packaging and shipping facilities are capable of providing a constant supply of food for many parts of the world, even overseas. However, there are plenty of problems including food preservation against heat and moisture which could be solved by considering conserved and canned foods. These kinds of activities could be supported and exhorted by United Nations or relating international of domestic organizations. To conclude, it should be noticed that half way is diminishing the hunger is done. In other words, enough food is getting produced, on the countraty, there is merely an efficient distribution of supplies needed.
A British journal has reported that we might anticipate higher morbidity due to obesity and cardiovascular diseases in corpulent
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
,
in comparison
to lethal hunger. This shocking expectation demonstrates that despite the sufficient production of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
, hunger is
still
a matter of concern. I believe this phenomenon could occur
as a result
of both poor
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
distribution
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
around the globe and
also
, the region specific challenges of farming in certain territories. Henceforth, a major part of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
problem
would
be solved
,
merely
by solving the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
distribution
issues.

Although agriculture industry has experienced an
Possible spelling mistake found.
expediated
growth,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
this growth is not uniform among all countries.
Consequently
, there are
still
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
regions facing critical
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
problems
that
Possible spelling mistake found.
compells
their proper agriculture activities cease to exist, in an inevitable manner. A plethora of these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
problems
have
been reported
.
For example
, droughts that linger
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
long are a problematic in a handful of places.
Similarly
, shortage and paucity in safe and
Possible spelling mistake found.
innocous
water is another
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
problem
in farming. These issues might
eventually
lead to either immense famines of pathogen associated diseases as a consequent of indigent soil and
Possible spelling mistake found.
inappropirate
water supply.

On the other hand
, poor
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
distribution
of consumables, is another source of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
problem
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
families are facing financial issues in order to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
buy
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
. One particular way to solve this
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
problem
, is to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
send
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
to these regions that
are deprived
of the access to proper
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
foods
. Enormous
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
packaging and shipping facilities are capable of providing a constant supply of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
for
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
parts of the world, even overseas.
However
, there are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
plenty
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
problems
including
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
preservation against heat and moisture which could
be solved
by considering conserved and canned
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
foods
. These kinds of activities could
be supported
and exhorted by United Nations or relating international of domestic organizations.

To conclude
, it should
be noticed
that half way is diminishing the hunger
is done
.
In other words
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
enough
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
is getting produced, on the
Possible spelling mistake found.
countraty
, there is
merely
an efficient
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
distribution
of supplies needed.
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IELTS essay What causes this? what to o about it

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
333 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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