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Now a days , families are not so close as they used to be, what do you think the causes of this? What can be done to make families closer?

There is no denying the fact that in past people used to connect with each other as they lived in a joint families however in this cutting-edge era society are not much closer because of living in a nuclear family. This essay will examine the main problem and further possible steps to overcome this effect. To begin, the first and foremost effect why families are not connected with each other is because of their both parents are working. To elaborate, guardians used to spend most of their time in work and they do not find time for their children and this outcomes with lack of bond in a family. Parents are so much indulged in sedentary lifestyle that they cannot use quality time with their members of family. Another cause is children are also not participating in a family communication. With the arrival of technology they utilize their time in playing with gadgets and spending time with their friends which results to weakening their relationship. To overcome this problem, the first measure is taken by parents they need to contribute their time with family. Both parents should look forward to give care and spend high-quality time. It results out as a first step to enhance their bond. For instance, during festivals instead of overtime working, they should take leave and should outing with family as our previous ancestors used to do. Consequently, they will make greater bond than before. Further solution by the children they should take onus towards their amount of time they spend on other activities they should also utilize equal time to their families also. To conclude, no doubt parents and children both are equally causes by lacking their bond by not involving or getting closer with each other which are non-interaction however possible steps from individuals in a family can be taken by spending their quality time together and prioritising the family first inspite of involving other activities which will leads to enhancement in their bond.
There is no denying the fact that in past
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
to connect with each
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
as they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lived
in a joint
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
families
however
in this cutting-edge era society are not much closer
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of living in a nuclear
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
. This essay will examine the main problem and
further
possible steps to overcome this effect.

To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
begin
, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
first
and foremost effect why
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
families
are not connected with each
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of their both
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
are working. To elaborate, guardians
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
to spend most of their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
in
Use a comma before ‘and’ if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
work and
they do not find
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
for their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
and
‘This’ does not seem to match the plural noun ‘outcomes’. Did you mean “these”?
this
outcomes with lack of bond in a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Parents
are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
much indulged in sedentary lifestyle that they cannot
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
quality
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
with their members of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
. Another cause is
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
are
also
not participating in a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
communication. With the arrival of technology they utilize their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
in playing with gadgets and spending
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
with their friends which results to weakening their relationship.

To overcome this problem, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
first
measure
is taken
by
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
they need to contribute their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
with
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
. Both
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
should look forward to give care and spend high-quality
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
. It results out as a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
first
step to enhance their bond.
For instance
, during festivals
instead
of overtime working, they should take
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
leave
and should outing with
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
as our previous ancestors
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
to do.
Consequently
, they will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
greater bond than
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
before
.
Further
solution by the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
they should take onus towards their amount of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
they spend on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
activities they should
also
utilize equal
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
to their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
families
also
.

To conclude
, no doubt
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
both are
equally
causes by lacking their bond by not involving or getting closer with each
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
which are non-interaction
however
possible steps from individuals in a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
can
be taken
by spending their quality
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
together and
Possible spelling mistake. ‘prioritising’ is British English.
prioritising
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
first
Possible spelling mistake found.
inspite
of involving
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
activities which will leads to enhancement in their bond.
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IELTS essay Now a days, families are not so close as they used to be, what do you think the causes of this? What can be done to make families closer?

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
330 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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