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Nowadays, the way many people interact with each other has changed because of technology. In what ways has technology affected the type of relationships people make? Has this become a positive or negative development?

Nowadays, the way many people interact with each other has changed because of technology. In what ways has technology affected the type of relationships people make? Has this become a positive or negative development? wLVY
Nowadays, there has commonly been a huge amount of debate with regard to whether technology has affected our social interactions with other individuals in a positive way or in a negative way. A plethora of persons say that this trend has affected our interactions in a bad way, and I fully with agree with that the using of latest gadgets which we are using these days to socializing had brought numerous negative effects. Firstly, with the arrival of social media such as Facebook, Instagram, Snapchat and so on, people like to chat or call via their smartphones and laptops due to the fact that these days individuals do not like to talk with one another face to face. To illustrate that, last year a survey was conducted by the Discovery channel which states that 75% of people do not want to engage in real talk instead they feel more comfortable to interact online, and this trend is more widespread in western nations in comparison to Asian countries. Moreover, Researchers mentioned that the new generation has lost their ability to interact naturally which is not a good sign of a healthy society. Another point to be considered is that all adults prefer to play games on their high-tech gaming consoles in their free time because of that numerous persons do not know have any knowledge about their neighbours. For instance, a newspaper says that in U. S. A 60 per cent crowd is unable to recognize the faces of their neighbours. Ten years ago, everyone was using their free time to interact with their neighbours by visiting parks but now the time has changed. To conclude, according to the surveys and studies, technology has affected our social interactions considerably, of course, in a bad manner. In my perspective, we should try to reduce the usage of social media as well as various smart tech gadgets and will try to interact naturally
Nowadays, there has
commonly
been a huge amount of debate with regard to whether technology has
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
affected
our
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
social
interactions with other individuals in a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
way or in a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
way. A plethora of persons say that this trend has
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
affected
our interactions in a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
bad
way, and I
fully
with
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
with that the using of
A determiner is probably missing here: "the latest".
latest
gadgets which we are using these days to socializing had brought numerous
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
effects.

Firstly
, with the arrival of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
social
media such as Facebook, Instagram, Snapchat and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
on,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
like to chat or call via their smartphones and laptops due to the fact that these days individuals do not like to talk with one another face to face. To illustrate that, last year a survey
was conducted
by the Discovery channel which states that 75% of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
do not want to engage in real talk
instead
they feel more comfortable to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
interact
online, and this trend is more widespread in western nations
in comparison
to Asian countries.
Moreover
, Researchers mentioned that the new generation has lost their ability to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
interact
naturally
which is not a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
sign
of a healthy society.

Another point to
be considered
is that all adults prefer to play games on their high-tech gaming consoles in their free time
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of that numerous persons do not know have any knowledge about their
Possible spelling mistake. 'neighbours' is British English.
neighbours
.
For instance
, a newspaper says that in U. S. A 60 per cent crowd is unable to recognize the faces of their
Possible spelling mistake. 'neighbours' is British English.
neighbours
. Ten years ago, everyone was using their free time to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
interact
with their
Possible spelling mistake. 'neighbours' is British English.
neighbours
by visiting parks
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
now
the time has
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
changed
.

To conclude
, according to the surveys and studies, technology has
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
affected
our
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
social
interactions
considerably
,
of course
, in a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
bad
manner. In my perspective, we should try to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduce
the usage of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
social
media
as well
as various smart tech gadgets and will try to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
interact
Please add a punctuation mark at the end of paragraph
naturally
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IELTS essay Nowadays, the way many people interact with each other has changed because of technology. In what ways has technology affected the type of relationships people make? Has this become a positive or negative development?

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
319 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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