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Nowadays the way many people interact with each other has changed because of technology. In what ways has technology affected the types of relationships people make? Has this become a positive or negative development?

Nowadays the way many people interact with each other has changed because of technology. In what ways has technology affected the types of relationships people make? Has this become a positive or negative development? kYeVe
Technology plays a vital role in every person's life. It has been stated that these days many individuals changes their communication skills with the other people due to mordenization in technical field. This transformation may immensely impact on the relationship between two person. In my view point, this phenomenon has positive effects on the society rather than the detrimenta. Both the question are answered in ensuing paraghraph. Discussing about the first question, the main difference in any relation because of this changes is about bonding to person might be less. For example, nowadays almost all the youngsters are stick to the computer, television and mobile phone for entertainment purpose which may have adverse effect on their bonding with friends, relatives and most importantly with their family members. Moreover, lot of communicators, in my view point, loose their confidence and get hesitate to speak infront of the stranger. To elaborate, student might be have a fear to give a speech in public and this type of student can not make good and soft relation with unknown person. Foremost reason to support my stance is that technology is helps us to save our time. By this I mean that if any employee wants to send any report or detail to their manager then he or she would be able to transfer that file in fraction of time; and in my perseption this will make strong relation between boss and employee. Furthermore, due to online study many learners can gain more knowledge threw 3D animated vedio by some websites and applications such as byju’s, youtube ectcetra. This will definitely improve the relation between students and teachers. To sum up, relations are greatly affected by the technology, it may loose confidence; however, right use of technology gives lot of positive effects to the society; such as, improve our efficiency of work by reducing time with the use of some softwares.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Technology
plays a vital role in every person's life. It has
been stated
that these days
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
individuals
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
changes
their communication
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
with the other
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
due to
Possible spelling mistake found.
mordenization
in technical field. This transformation may
immensely
impact on the relationship between two
Possible agreement error. The noun 'person' seems to be countable, so consider using: "people", "persons".
person
. In my view point, this phenomenon has
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
effects on the society
rather
than the
Possible spelling mistake found.
detrimenta
. Both the question
are answered
in ensuing
Possible spelling mistake found.
paraghraph
.
Did you mean simply "Discussing the"? You do not need the word "about" here.
Discussing about the
first
question, the main difference in any
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
relation
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of
Did you mean "these"?
this
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
changes
is about bonding to person might be less.
For example
, nowadays almost all the youngsters are stick to the computer, television and mobile phone for entertainment purpose which may have adverse effect on their bonding with friends, relatives and most
importantly
with their family members.
Moreover
,
It seems that an article is missing.
lot of
communicators, in my view point,
Did you mean "lose" (= miss, waste, suffer the loss etc.)?
loose
their confidence and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
hesitate to speak
Possible spelling mistake found.
infront
of the stranger. To elaborate, student might be
Consider using the past participle "had"?
have
a fear to give a speech in public and this type of student can not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
and soft
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
relation
with unknown person. Foremost reason to support my stance is that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
technology
is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
helps
us to save our time. By this I mean that if any employee wants to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
send
any report or detail to their manager then he or she would be able to transfer that file in fraction of time; and in my
Possible spelling mistake found.
perseption
this will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
strong
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
relation
between boss and employee.
Furthermore
, due to online study
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
learners can gain more knowledge threw 3D animated
Possible spelling mistake found.
vedio
by
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
websites and applications such as
Possible spelling mistake found.
byju
’s,
Possible spelling mistake found.
youtube
Possible spelling mistake found.
ectcetra
. This will definitely
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improve
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
relation
between students and teachers. To sum up,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
relations
are
greatly
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
affected
by the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
technology
, it may
Did you mean "lose" (= miss, waste, suffer the loss etc.)?
loose
confidence;
however
, right
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
technology
gives
It seems that an article is missing.
lot of
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
effects to the society; such as,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improve
our efficiency of work by reducing time with the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
of
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
Possible spelling mistake found.
softwares
.
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IELTS essay Nowadays the way many people interact with each other has changed because of technology. In what ways has technology affected the types of relationships people make? Has this become a positive or negative development?

Essay
  American English
1 paragraphs
316 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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