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Nowadays, the way many people interact with each other has changed because of technology. In what ways technology affected the type of relationships people make? (virtual communication, wider network) Has this become a positive or negative development?

Nowadays, the way many people interact with each other has changed because of technology. In what ways technology affected the type of relationships people make? (virtual communication, wider network) Has this become a positive or negative development? GMlBe
Recently, technology has become a changer on how people associate in their relationships. Although humans are able to have a wider network, this development gives more drawbacks rather than benefits. People will not know a lot of their friends since they have too many online connections. To start up, technology gives an opportunity for society to be active in the internet and they have the chance to gain larger connections. Despite having or knowing people from other places, it doesn’t mean that they may support each other or have a strong relationship. For example, social media such as Facebook and Instagram are some of the best platforms to find various people around the world.
Recently, technology has become a changer on how
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
associate in their relationships. Although humans are able to have a wider network, this development gives more drawbacks
rather
than benefits.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
People
will not know
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
their friends since they have too
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
online connections.

To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
start
up, technology gives an opportunity for society to be active
The usual collocation for technology is "on," not "in." It is better to say this: "on the internet".
in the internet
and they have the chance to gain larger connections. Despite having or knowing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
from other places, it doesn’t mean that they may support each other or have a strong relationship.
For example
, social media such as Facebook and Instagram are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
of the best platforms to find various
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
around the world.
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IELTS essay Nowadays, the way many people interact with each other has changed because of technology. In what ways technology affected the type of relationships people make? (virtual communication, wider network) Has this become a positive or negative development?

Essay
  American English
2 paragraphs
114 words
This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1
5.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 6.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
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