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Shopping is now one of the most popular forms of leisure activity in many countries for young and adults. Why this? Do you this is a positive or negative development?

Shopping is now one of the most popular forms of leisure activity in many countries for young and adults. Why this? Do you this is a positive or negative development? 5eXN
In recent times, it can be noted that buying is famous for free time activity. It is flourishing in every corner of the world in young generation. There are plenty of reasons this phenomenon. Purchasing is negative development. Both reasons and negative development are discussed further along with examples. Focusing on logic, there are manifold root-causes of this situation. The biggest hurdle is media. Owing to advertisement, young inhabitants know about different products. Eventually, they go to shopping mall for weekly shop. Not to mention, the another obstacle is entertainment. Young people go to mall for enjoyment activity in spare time. Because of weekends, they spend quality time in malls. For example, on the basis of survey done by the times of India in 2018, 32 out of 100, young public spent free time in public places. Examining on negative development, the biggest risk is finance. Due to shopping mall, young population purchase unnecessary products. Therefore, they use their credit card for purchasing. In addition to that, the foremost demerits are miss use time. They not only use leisure time but also use their important time for purchasing in super market. If they use online websites for buying items, they would use their significant time in productive activities. To sum up, it can be finally commented that buying is well known task in the world. The most logic is digital advertisement. However, the negative development is they purchase UN wanted products. Ministry should ban unnecessary products advertisement. They do not watch in television and they do not go to shopping mall for purchase.
In recent
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
times
, it can
be noted
that buying is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
famous
for free
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
activity. It is flourishing in every corner of the world in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
young
generation. There are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
plenty
of reasons this phenomenon. Purchasing is
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
negative
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
development
. Both reasons and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
negative
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
development
are discussed
further
along with examples.

Focusing on logic, there are manifold root-causes of this situation. The biggest hurdle is media. Owing to advertisement,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
young
inhabitants know about
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
products
.
Eventually
, they go to shopping
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
mall
for weekly shop. Not to mention, the another obstacle is entertainment.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Young
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
go to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
mall
for enjoyment activity in spare
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Because
of weekends, they spend quality
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
malls
.
For example
, on the basis of survey done by the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
times
of India in 2018, 32 out of 100,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
young
public spent free
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
in public places.

Examining on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
negative
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
development
, the biggest
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
risk
is finance. Due to shopping
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
mall
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
young
population
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
purchase
unnecessary
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
products
.
Therefore
, they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
their credit card for purchasing.
In addition
to that, the foremost demerits are miss
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
. They not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
leisure
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
also
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
their
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
for purchasing in super market. If they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
online websites for buying items, they would
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
their significant
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
in productive activities.

To sum up, it can be
finally
commented that buying is well known task in the world. The most logic is digital advertisement.
However
, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
negative
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
development
is they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
purchase
UN wanted
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
products
. Ministry should ban unnecessary
Possible typo: apostrophe is missing. Did you mean "products'" or "product's"?
products
advertisement. They do not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
watch
in
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
television and
they do not go to shopping
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
mall
for
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
purchase
.
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IELTS essay Shopping is now one of the most popular forms of leisure activity in many countries for young and adults. Why this? Do you this is a positive or negative development?

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
263 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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