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Nowadays, the way many people interact with each other has changed because of technology. In what ways has technology affected the types of relationships people make? Has this become a positive or negative development? v.19

Nowadays, the way many people interact with each other has changed because of technology. In what ways has technology affected the types of relationships people make? Has this become a positive or negative development? v. 19
Advanced technology has significantly changed the way people interact with each other these days. This essay will explain how advancements in technology have affected our daily life and discuss if these changes make positive impacts on us. Many aspects in our life have been changed because of technology. In the past, people only have limited ways like writing letters to communicate as there are various difficulties, such as long distance or language barriers. However, advanced technology enables us to communicate more efficiently and effectively because it provides us more options to interact including email, phone call and video chat. To illustrate, when I was traveling in Thailand 10 years ago, I had to go to a pay phone if I want to make a phone call to my parents but now, I can just video chat with them on my smartphone. As can be seen, the way of interaction has been deeply changed with the development of technology. Interaction plays a crucial role in our society and we are able to communicate more easily and effortlessly compared to the past due to advancements in technology. However, it’s been criticized that people tend to be unsociable because of this. For example, due to social media like Facebook and Wechat are being widely used, people don’t have many opportunities or motivation to go out and socialize with their friends and family. For this reason, some people perceive advancements in technology can also be detrimental to shape people’s personality. To sum up, many aspects of our life, especially ways of communication have been changed nowadays. I am inclined to say that the overall benefits of these changes are superior.
Advanced
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technology
has
significantly
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
changed
the
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way
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
interact with each other these days. This essay will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
explain
how advancements in
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technology
have
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
affected
our daily life and discuss if these
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
changes
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
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positive
impacts on us.

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Many
aspects in our life have been
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
changed
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of
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technology
. In the past,
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people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
have limited
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
ways
like writing letters to communicate as there are various difficulties, such as long distance or language barriers.
However
, advanced
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
technology
enables us to communicate more
efficiently
and
effectively
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
it provides us more options to interact including email, phone call and video chat. To illustrate, when I was traveling in Thailand 10 years ago, I had to go to a pay phone if I want to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
a phone call to my parents
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
now
, I can
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
video chat with them on my smartphone. As can be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
seen
, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
way
of interaction has been
deeply
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
changed
with the development of technology.

Interaction plays a crucial role in our
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
society and
we are able to communicate more
easily
and
effortlessly
compared to the past due to advancements in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
technology
.
However
, it’s
been criticized
that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
tend to be unsociable
because of this
.
For example
, due to social media like Facebook and
Possible spelling mistake found.
Wechat
are being
widely
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
,
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people
don’t have
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
opportunities or motivation to go out and socialize with their friends and family.
For this reason
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
perceive advancements in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
technology
can
also
be detrimental to shape
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people’s
personality.

To sum up,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
aspects of our life,
especially
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
ways
of communication have been
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
changed
nowadays. I
am inclined
to say that the
overall
benefits of these
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
changes
are superior.
8Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
16Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
2Mistakes

IELTS essay Nowadays, the way many people interact with each other has changed because of technology. In what ways has technology affected the types of relationships people make? Has this become a positive or negative development? v. 19

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
276 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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