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nowadays, The social media increasing . Do you agree or disagree?

nowadays, The social media increasing. OVRj3
From the 21th century, The social media has been dramatically increasing until now according any range of people. Having seen status quo, The adolescent have used sharing their personal information and pictures yjay using the internet have been rising since 5 years. On the other hand, Using the internet might be dangerous to the teenjegers future life career. Even though, the crime rate has been increasing when it came to the world which it means the internet has side effects, however it has a good effect too. For instance, one of my friends always using internet by to be acquainted to someone and easy to use, but she has connected one guy and then they met at the cafe but it wasn’t him, he was just used handsome guy picture in order to meet my friend. On the other hand, social media have acquired adults and old people. People often feel comfortable posting things on social media that they wouldn't say in real life. This can be cause of the incredibly bad habits to human life style. In some cases, social media has given people wrong inspiration particularly Kim kardashian that some people believe that they are very beautiful, amazing and natural but they not due to the fact the is they did plastic surgery to their own body but they are promoting product that telling a lie to the whole world. As long as people are aware of the risks of using social media, and are careful to post only respectful and before the sent your picture think about it.
From the
Please check the suffix, if this is an ordinal number.
21th
century, The
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
social
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
media
has been
dramatically
increasing until
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
now
according any range of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
. Having
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
seen
status quo, The adolescent have
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
sharing their personal information and pictures
Possible spelling mistake found.
yjay
using the internet have been rising
Did you mean "for"? ('since' refers to a point in time, whereas 'for' refers to a period)
since
5 years.

On the other hand
, Using the internet might be
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
dangerous
to the
Possible spelling mistake found.
teenjegers
future life career.
Even though
, the crime rate has been increasing when it came to the world which it means the internet has side effects,
however
it has a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
effect too.
For instance
, one of my friends always using internet by to
be acquainted
to someone and easy to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
she has connected one
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
guy and
then they met at the
'cafe' is an imported foreign expression, which originally has a diacritic. Consider using "café"
cafe
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
it wasn’t him, he was
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
handsome guy picture in order to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
meet
my friend.

On the other hand
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
social
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
media
have acquired adults and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
old
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
People
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
often
feel comfortable posting things on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
social
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
media
that they wouldn't say in real life. This can
Did you mean "because"?
be cause
of the
incredibly
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
bad
habits to human life style. In
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
cases,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
social
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
media
has
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
given
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
wrong
inspiration
particularly
Kim
Possible spelling mistake found.
kardashian
that
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
believe that they are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
beautiful
, amazing and natural
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
they not due to the fact the is they did plastic surgery to their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
body
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
they are promoting product that telling a lie to the whole world.

As long as
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
are aware of the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
risks
of using
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
social
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
media
, and are careful to post
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
respectful and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
before
the
Did you mean "scent"?
sent
your picture
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
about it.
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IELTS essay nowadays, The social media increasing.

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
261 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 5.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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