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Achievements are an important part of a person's career, though some people believe that they are much more important than others. What do you feel is the most important factor of working?

Achievements are an important part of a person's career, though some people believe that they are much more important than others. What do you feel is the most important factor of working? XGq1E
Accomplishments are essential part of an individual’s job. Despite the fact, part of the society is of the belief that they are vitally important than others. The factors which have contributed to this statement are that employee’s motivation, and job satisfaction. I believe that achievements are important because it is tangible evidence that use to judge a person and more success or less. Because it makes the person to be happy at the work place and also to have a healthy mentality and a balanced life. Achievements makes the employee to be more motivate to work, since it improves the job satisfaction which leads to perform high quality work. When an employee get acknowledged by the staff it make a positive impact to peruse an interest in the career. In my point of view to achieve a goal within the job we have to work hard for it. Ther are many consequences of working hard. It improves the employee’s skills to handle challenges. To withstand in tough times and also resilience to work under pressure. Being able to persue interest in the career makes the work a sense of pleasure, pride and joy. The result of working happily at the work place makes the employee less stress and it helps to maintain a proper healthy mentality. For example when someone is having a interest in their career they are more able to achieve more goals and they will be acknowledge by their staff which leads to be more motivated and to be successful in the career. In conclusion being able to achieve goals within the career makes the employer more motivated and it makes them more job satisfied and it leads to have a healthy pleasurable balanced working lifestyle. This writer believes that achievements are an important part of person’s career.
Accomplishments are essential part of an individual’s
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
. Despite the fact, part of the society is of the belief that they are
vitally
Use "(important)" to make a comparison with this adjective.
important
than others. The factors which have contributed to this statement are that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
employee’s
motivation, and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
satisfaction. I believe that achievements are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
it is tangible evidence that
Make sure that 'use to' is correct. For habitual actions in the past or to mean 'accustomed to', use "used to".
use to
judge a person and more success or less.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Because
it
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
makes
the person to be happy at the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
place and
also
to have a healthy mentality and a balanced life.

Achievements
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
makes
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
employee
to be more motivate to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
, since it
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improves
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
satisfaction which leads to perform high quality
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
.
“When” at the beginning of a sentence usually requires a 2nd clause. Maybe a comma, question or exclamation mark is missing, or the sentence is incomplete and should be joined with the following sentence.
When
an
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
employee
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
acknowledged by the staff it
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
make
a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
impact to peruse an interest in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
career
. In my point of view to achieve a goal within the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
we
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
hard
for it.
Possible spelling mistake found.
Ther are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
consequences of working
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
hard
. It
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improves
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
employee’s
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
to handle challenges. To withstand in tough times and
also
resilience to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
under pressure.

Being able to
Possible spelling mistake found.
persue
interest in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
career
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
makes
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
a sense of pleasure, pride and joy. The result of working
happily
at the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
place
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
makes
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
employee
less
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
stress
and it
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
helps
to maintain a proper healthy mentality.
For example
when someone is having
Use "an" instead of 'a' if the following word starts with a vowel sound, e.g. 'an article', 'an hour'
a
interest in their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
career
they are more able to achieve more
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
goals and
they will be
Consider using the past participle "acknowledged"?
acknowledge
by their staff which leads to be more motivated and to be successful in the career.

In conclusion
being able to achieve goals within the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
career
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
makes
the employer more motivated and it
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
makes
them more
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
satisfied and it leads to have a healthy pleasurable balanced working lifestyle. This writer believes that achievements are an
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
part of person’s
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
career
.
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IELTS essay Achievements are an important part of a person's career, though some people believe that they are much more important than others. What do you feel is the most important factor of working?

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
301 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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