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Nowadays people spend less time at home. what are the reasons behind this trend. how can we solve this issue?

Nowadays people spend less time at home. what are the reasons behind this trend. how can we solve this issue? jRVlX
This is unaviodable that the devotion of time has changed now. it is widely observed that a considerable amount to hours is spent outside by the people. But, what have they gained living outside far from their family? what if they devote quality time to their family? well, giving no importance to family members has several fastors which can be addressed if suitable measures are followed. one of cheif element not staying at home for long time is their extensive hours of work. As maximum time is invested at their work places presently to fulfill the increasing demands of their family. This tendency keeps them away from their home. This is illustrated by the fact that at Alpha university in 2017 showed that 78% people had benn engaged in work just to have luxurious lifestyle. Hence, people have become isolated for this spending excessive time at offices. Another factor which allow the people to put themselves outside is availability of various recreational activities in thier home town where they prefer to pay their huge amount of time than staying at home. After having hectic schedule, everybody have desire to get serene ambience which might not be found at home. . Clubs, gym, restaurants are the places which allure the people towards them. Therefore, rather than spending spare time at home, these entertainment outlets have encouraged them to visit there. In order to attract them towards their home, there are some measures which can be taken. Firstly, people could limit the working hours that is contributing to put them away from home. The less working hours have, the more they are able to sit with family. To address this issue, government can restrict the timing of places on some special days so that on these days, they cannot visit there. Eventually, they have to stay at home and indirect way they might spend time with family. Considering the all above said points, it is concluded that long working schedule style and having more options of spending time are incorporated in reducing the bonding with dear ones, but still to maintain relationship people must indulge into socal activities which eventually will make their relation strong.
This is
Possible spelling mistake found.
unaviodable
that the devotion of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
has
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
changed
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
now
.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
it
is
widely
observed that a considerable amount to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
hours
is spent
outside by the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
But
, what have they gained living outside far from their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
?
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
what
if they devote quality
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
to their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
?
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
well
, giving no importance to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
members has several
Possible spelling mistake found.
fastors
which can
be addressed
if suitable measures
are followed
.

This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
one
of
Possible spelling mistake found.
cheif
element not staying at home for long
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
is their extensive
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
hours
of work.
“As” at the beginning of a sentence usually requires a 2nd clause. Maybe a comma, question or exclamation mark is missing, or the sentence is incomplete and should be joined with the following sentence.
As
maximum
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
is invested
at their work places
presently
to fulfill the increasing demands of their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
. This tendency
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
keeps
them away from their home. This
is illustrated
by the fact that at Alpha university in 2017
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
showed
that 78%
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
had
Possible spelling mistake found.
benn
engaged in work
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
to have luxurious lifestyle.
Hence
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
have become isolated for this spending excessive
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
at offices.

Another factor which
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
allow
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
to put themselves outside is availability of various recreational activities in
Possible spelling mistake found.
thier
home town where they prefer to pay their huge amount of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
than staying at home. After having hectic schedule, everybody
The pronoun 'everybody' is usually used with a third-person or a past tense verb: "has", "had".
have
desire to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
serene ambience which might not
be found
at home.
Don't put a space before the full stop
.
Clubs, gym, restaurants are the places which allure the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
towards them.
Therefore
,
rather
than spending spare
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
at home, these entertainment outlets have encouraged them to visit there.

In order to attract them towards their home, there are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
measures which can
be taken
.
Firstly
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
could limit the working
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
hours
that is
contributing to put them away from home. The less working
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
hours
have, the more they are able to sit with
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
. To address this issue,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
can restrict the timing of places on
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
special days
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
that on these days, they cannot visit there.
Eventually
, they
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
stay at home and indirect way they might spend
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
with family.

Considering the all above said points, it
is concluded
that long working schedule style and having more options of spending
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
are incorporated
in reducing the bonding with dear ones,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
still
to maintain relationship
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
indulge into
Possible spelling mistake found.
socal
activities which
eventually
will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
their relation strong.
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IELTS essay Nowadays people spend less time at home. what are the reasons behind this trend. how can we solve this issue?

Essay
  American English
5 paragraphs
363 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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