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Nowadays the majority of young people in developed countries opt for a university education instead of learning a trade, and this has created a surplus of graduates and a lack of tradespeople. One solution is to encourage young people to go on apprenticeships in order to redress the balance. Discuss the advantages and disadvantages of this initiative.

Nowadays the majority of young people in developed countries opt for a university education instead of learning a trade, and this has created a surplus of graduates and a lack of tradespeople. One solution is to encourage young people to go on apprenticeships in order to redress the balance. Discuss the advantages and disadvantages of this initiative. YPEm
In today’s world, a large number of young people who are living in developed countries prefer to get university education instead of learning trade, and it makes a superiority of graduates and a shortage of tradespeople. It has one solution of this problem is to inspire young generation to go on apprenticeships in order to restore the balance. There are some odds and drawbacks such as – becoming an expert and job guarantee; waste of time and lack of experience – as illustrated below. On the one hand, the first advantage of university education is that students become an expert in their jobs. Over the three or four years of their undergraduate course, they will become an expert in their chosen subject. The chances are they will get to choose a number of specialist areas of study as their interests develop. Moreover, another advantage is that university education gives job guarantee for young generation after graduation. For example, some universities such as BHOS provide students with jobs when they graduate and they have opportunities to work in SOCAR or BP. On the other hand, the first drawback is that young people lose their valuable time. It means that, university education consumes a lot of time. Students spend four years studying for a degree and they only focus on their lessons, although young people should do other important things like to establish business instead of to go to university. Furthermore, the second disadvantage is lack of practical experiences. Because, they do not get technical skills. Some jobs require more experiences than theoretical knowledge, that’s why university does not give sufficient practice for young generation. For instance, medicine and engineering demand a lot of experiences but students do not find them at the university. In conclusion, advantages and disadvantages as mentioned before show that some young people prefer to get university education; however, some of them want to learn trades for creating their own lucky business.
In
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today
’s world,
Specify a number, remove phrase, or simply use "many" or "numerous"
a large number of
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young
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people
who are living in
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
developed countries
prefer to
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get
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university
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education
instead
of learning trade, and it
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
makes
a superiority of graduates and a shortage of tradespeople. It has one solution of this problem is to inspire
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
young
generation to go on apprenticeships in order to restore the balance. There are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
odds and drawbacks such as
Consider using an m-dash if you do not want to join two words.
–
becoming an expert and
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job
guarantee; waste of time and lack of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
experience
Consider using an m-dash if you do not want to join two words.
–
as illustrated below.

On the one hand, the
first
advantage of
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university
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
is that
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students
become an expert in their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
jobs
. Over the three or four years of their undergraduate course, they will become an expert in their chosen subject. The chances are they will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
to choose a number of specialist areas of study as their interests develop.
Moreover
, another advantage is that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
university
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education
gives
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
guarantee for
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young
generation after graduation.
For example
,
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some
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universities
such as
Possible spelling mistake found.
BHOS
provide
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students
with
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jobs
when they
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
graduate and
they have opportunities to work in
Possible spelling mistake found.
SOCAR
or BP.

On the other hand
, the
first
drawback is that
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young
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
lose their valuable time. It means that,
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university
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education
consumes
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a lot of
time.
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Students
spend four years studying for a
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
degree and
they
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only
focus on their lessons, although
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
young
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
should do other
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
things like to establish business
instead
of to go to
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university
.
Furthermore
, the second disadvantage is lack of practical
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experiences
.
“Because” at the beginning of a sentence usually requires a 2nd clause. Maybe a comma, question or exclamation mark is missing, or the sentence is incomplete and should be joined with the following sentence.
Because
, they do not
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get
technical
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
.
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Some
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jobs
require more
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experiences
than theoretical knowledge, that’s why
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
university
does not give sufficient practice for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
young
generation.
For instance
, medicine and engineering demand
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
experiences
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
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students
do not find them at the university.

In conclusion
, advantages and disadvantages as mentioned
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before
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show
that
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
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young
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
prefer to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
university
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
;
however
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
of them want to learn trades for creating their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
lucky business.
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IELTS essay Nowadays the majority of young people in developed countries opt for a university education instead of learning a trade, and this has created a surplus of graduates and a lack of tradespeople. One solution is to encourage young people to go on apprenticeships in order to redress the balance. Discuss the advantages and disadvantages of this initiative.

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
324 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 5.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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