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Nowadays technology is increasingly being used to monitor what people are saying and doing ( for example, through cellphone tracking and security cameras). In many cases, the people being monitored are unaware that this is happening.Do you think the advantages of this development outweigh the disadvantages?

Nowadays, we use technology as one of our body parts. It can do almost everything. We could not think how we will be able to live life when there is no technology at all. Technology is developing every day, and now they have reached the point where the technology itself knows what people are up to by monitoring through cellphone tracking or security cameras. This essay will discuss if the advantages of this development are outweighing the disadvantages or not. Having things get more convenient through advanced technology is great because it can help reduce a lot of time. For example, if you want to search for something that has just come into your mind, you will just have to speak it out and your phone will search it for you. Another example is if your thing got stolen, there will be security footage for you to track the thief. Good things always come with bad things. This technology is seriously disturbing people's privacy. In China, there are government security cameras everywhere, on the street, in buildings, and even in your apartment. Some people did not even know that. If that person is famous, there are chances that they might be in danger if the psycho fans or paparazzi could get a hold of the leaked information. To conclude, I think the advantages and the disadvantages are balanced. If you want a more comfortable life, you will need this technology, but you will not have any privacy. If you want to keep your private life safe, then you will have to avoid using this technology.
Nowadays, we
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
technology
as one of our body parts. It can do almost everything. We could not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
how we will be able to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
life when there is no
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
technology
at all.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Technology
is developing every day, and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
now
they have reached the point where the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
technology
itself knows what
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
are up to by monitoring through cellphone tracking or security cameras. This essay will discuss if the advantages of this development are outweighing the disadvantages or not.

Having things
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
more convenient through advanced
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
technology
is great
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
it can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduce
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
time.
For example
, if you want to search for something that has
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
come
into your mind, you will
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
speak it out and your phone will search it for you. Another example is if your thing
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
got
stolen, there will be security footage for you to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
track
the thief.
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
Good
things always
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
come
with
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
bad
things. This
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
technology
is
seriously
disturbing
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
's privacy. In China, there are
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
security cameras everywhere, on the street, in buildings, and even in your apartment.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
did not even know that. If that person is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
famous
, there are chances that they might be in
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
danger
if the psycho fans or paparazzi could
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
a hold of the leaked information.

To conclude
, I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
the advantages and the disadvantages
are balanced
. If you want a more comfortable life, you will need this
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
technology
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
you will not have any privacy. If you want to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
keep
your private life safe, then you will
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
avoid using this
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
technology
.
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IELTS essay Nowadays technology is increasingly being used to monitor what people are saying and doing ( for example, through cellphone tracking and security cameras). In many cases, the people being monitored are unaware that this is happening. Do you think the advantages of this development outweigh the disadvantages?

Essay
  American English
3 paragraphs
265 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 6.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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  • Nowadays technology is increasingly being used to monitor what people are saying and doing ( for example, through cellphone tracking and security cameras). In many cases, the people being monitored are unaware that this is happening.Do you think the advantages of this development outweigh the disadvantages?