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Nowadays technology is increasing being used to monitor what people are saying and doing (for example, through cellphone tracking and security cameras). In many cases, the people being monitored are unaware that this is happening. Do you think the advantages of this development outweigh the disadvantages?

Nowadays technology is increasing being used to monitor what people are saying and doing (for example, through cellphone tracking and security cameras). In many cases, the people being monitored are unaware that this is happening. Do you think the advantages of this development outweigh the disadvantages? oa39
It is undeniable that increased use of technological devices, particularly mobile tracking and digital cameras have helped in monitoring individuals activities. However, many people, who tend to get monitored, will be unconscious about the situation. It can be beneficial for snabbing offenders and taking care of children despite a demerit which could ignored. Increasingly usage of developed gadgets can help communities to reduce crime rate and improving child habits in a positive way. Firstly, it is irrefutable that a number of crimes have been committing in societies, which causes devastating consequences to public. By utilizing the camera systems, these criminals would get spotlighted easily within a few days. For instance, a survey conducted by 'the hindu' newspaper revealed that if some major criminal acts in terms of kidnapping and murdering had not catched by police officers, then they would not have been became a productive citizens. Furthermore, children are likely to be indulge in social networking platforms for a long period of time and spreading inaccurate information among the public. In other words, parents can kept proper attention to their young adolescents screen-time by using tracking devices. To exemplify, cyber related softwares could detect concealed chats and history of any person account, along with a facility of blocking users from private sites. This is owing to fact that parents could able to improve the decorum of children which will definitely make them obedient citizen. However, it is thought by school that people personal data and services will be leaked out. This is to say, owing to monitoring by technical appliances in isolated areas such as ATM departments, ethical hackers would able to trace people credit card details within a couple of seconds. Ergo, the sense of insecurity have been faced by sections of communities. In conclusion, although the major sources and private information are often monitored with the help of technology, whereas the opportunities to deter crime and preventing children from negative resources to implement good habits would be entirely justifiable to consider as positive development.
It is undeniable that increased
use
of technological devices,
particularly
mobile tracking and digital cameras have
helped
in monitoring individuals activities.
However
,
many
people
, who tend to
get
monitored, will be unconscious about the situation. It can be beneficial for
snabbing
offenders and taking care of
children
despite a demerit which could
ignored
.

Increasingly
usage of developed gadgets can
help
communities to
reduce
crime rate and improving child habits in a
positive
way.
Firstly
, it is irrefutable that a number of crimes have been committing in societies, which causes devastating
consequences to
public. By utilizing the camera systems, these criminals would
get
spotlighted
easily
within a few days.
For instance
, a survey conducted by 'the
hindu
' newspaper revealed that if
some
major criminal acts in terms of kidnapping and murdering had not
catched
by police officers, then they would not have been
became
a productive
citizens
.

Furthermore
,
children
are likely to be
indulge
in social networking platforms for a long period of time and spreading inaccurate information among the public.
In other words
, parents can
kept
proper attention to their young adolescents screen-time by using tracking devices. To exemplify, cyber related
softwares
could detect concealed chats and history of any person account, along with a facility of blocking users from private sites. This is owing to fact that parents
could able
to
improve
the decorum of
children
which will definitely
make
them obedient citizen.

However
, it is
thought
by school that
people
personal data and services will
be leaked
out. This is to say, owing to monitoring by technical appliances in isolated areas such as ATM departments, ethical hackers
would able
to trace
people
credit card
details
within a couple of seconds. Ergo, the sense of insecurity have
been faced
by sections of communities.

In conclusion
, although the major sources and private information are
often
monitored with the
help
of technology, whereas the opportunities to deter crime and preventing
children
from
negative
resources to implement
good
habits would be
entirely
justifiable to consider as
positive
development.
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IELTS essay Nowadays technology is increasing being used to monitor what people are saying and doing (for example, through cellphone tracking and security cameras). In many cases, the people being monitored are unaware that this is happening. Do you think the advantages of this development outweigh the disadvantages?

Essay
  American English
5 paragraphs
336 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
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  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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