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Nowadays students find it difficult to pay attention at schools. What are the causes of this? How can this be solved?

Nowadays students find it difficult to pay attention at schools. What are the causes of this? How can this be solved? J3Yjw
It is said that being attentive is complicate in curren time. In further paragraphs, two particular reasons why they suffer from paying attention and ways of ensuring their productive performance at school. There are several factors that students may require some financial help as well as they work abnormality in order to get rid of more debts. From day by day, mature student tend to be self-sufficient in their own life and give up the very habit which dare not to take any money from parents. In contrast, this condition may arise low in the USA than other countries. This mainly because, American universities ensure completely students contract fee, as a result students might be engrossed in the cognition. If university agencies should assist students in paying diverse finances, students may not make a worry about it. For example, south korean university organization assist fully international students as possible as. From another hand, students keen on surfing different unnecessary websites and they spend most of their time on playing cyber games day in day out. For particular reasons parents may neglect their children's upbringing and can not control their using devices. Whether students must be encouraged by their using feeling like objects or have not to be allowed to carry education center. In Uzbekistan, utilizing mobile phones on lessons is forbidden by education minister. It is believed that this way help to prevent overlooking to lessons. To conclude, students may become focusing on subjects when be solved their financial problems by agencies, and that addiction to surfing internet, playing various types of cyber games is avoided via restricting themselves.
It
is said
that being attentive is
Consider using a past participle here: "complicated".
complicate
in
Possible spelling mistake found.
curren
time. In
further
paragraphs, two particular reasons why they suffer from paying attention and ways of ensuring their productive performance at school.

There are several factors that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
may require
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
financial
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
as well
as they work abnormality in order to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
rid of more debts. From day by day, mature
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
student
tend to be self-sufficient in their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
life and give up the
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
habit which dare not to take any money from parents.
In contrast
, this condition may arise low in the USA than other countries. This
mainly
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
, American universities ensure completely
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
contract fee,
as a result
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
might
be engrossed
in the cognition. If university agencies should assist
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
in paying diverse finances,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
may not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
a worry about it.
For example
,
If the term is a proper noun, use initial capitals.
south korean
university organization assist
fully
international
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
as possible as. From another hand,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
keen on surfing
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
unnecessary
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
websites and
they spend most of their time on playing cyber games day in day out. For particular reasons parents may neglect their children's upbringing and can not control their using devices. Whether
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
be encouraged
by their using feeling like objects or have not to be
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
allowed
to carry education center. In Uzbekistan, utilizing mobile phones on lessons
is forbidden
by education minister. It
is believed
that this way
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
prevent
overlooking to lessons.
To conclude
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
may become focusing on subjects when
be solved
their financial problems by agencies, and that addiction to surfing internet, playing various types of cyber games
is avoided
via restricting themselves.
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IELTS essay Nowadays students find it difficult to pay attention at schools. What are the causes of this? How can this be solved?

Essay
  American English
2 paragraphs
269 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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