Do you want to improve your writing? Try our new evaluation service and get detailed feedback.
Check Your Text it's free

Nowadays some think that main factors that affects a child development are media ,friends and pop culture. Other believe that families plays the significance role .discuss both views and give your opinion.

Nowadays some think that main factors that affects a child development are media, friends and pop culture. Other believe that families plays the significance role. ldp99
In this modern era, technology is rapidly increasing and all folks are indulged in their gadgets. In these days some believed that main factors that affects a child's growth are media, pop culture and friends and other said that family plays the crucial role. I opine that parents are the main, whose are responsible for the child's development. There are a number of reasons which are discussed in the upcoming paragraph. To commence with, firstly every child spends most of the time with their families and children must learn those things which they see. If family do a number of bad activities like a number of male family members are fond of drugs. consequently, child must tries to do these activities and furthermore the development of child depends upon the parents, what they guide to their children and a number of parents are swamped in job as well as work do they do not spend time with their children. It results children might be in depression and also isolate the family bonding. For instance, A survey was conducted by The Times of India which showed that in Delhi 60% parents are swamped in job and it consequences plethora of children in depression. Hence, children growth depends upon the parent's nature as well as environment. On the flip side, Media, pop culture, and friends also affects the child development. owing to the fact that in these days every child use gadgets such as phones and laptop. Firstly these are risky for their eyes sight and secondly on phone child see a number of dreadful videos and clips which are not good for them and if child choose atrocious quality of associate consequently it might be spoil the image as well as character. For instance, 60% adolescent spoil their reputation due to their cheap quality of buddy. Hence, media and friends are also affects the child growth. To conclude that, both are responsible for child's development friends and people on the contrary I believe that group plays the most significant role to influence child development.
In this modern era, technology is
rapidly
increasing and all folks
are indulged
in their gadgets. In these days
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
believed that main factors that affects a child's growth are media, pop culture and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
friends
and other said that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
plays the crucial role. I opine that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
are the main, whose are responsible for the child's
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
development
. There are a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
number
of reasons which
are discussed
in the upcoming paragraph. To commence with,
firstly
every
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
child
spends most of the time with their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
families
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
learn those things which they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
see
.
“If” at the beginning of a sentence usually requires a 2nd clause. Maybe a comma, question or exclamation mark is missing, or the sentence is incomplete and should be joined with the following sentence.
If
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
do a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
number
of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
bad
activities like a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
number
of male
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
members are fond of drugs.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
consequently
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
child
The word 'tries' is a noun or an adjective. A verb is missing or misspelled, or maybe a comma is missing.
must tries
to do these activities and
furthermore
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
development
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
child
depends upon the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
, what they guide to their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
and a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
number
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
are swamped
in job
as well
as work do they do not spend time with their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
. It results
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
might be in depression and
also
isolate the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
bonding.
For instance
, A survey
was conducted
by The Times of India which
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
showed
that in Delhi 60%
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
are swamped
in job and
Do not use a noun immediately after the pronoun 'it'. Use a verb or an adverb, or possibly some other part of speech.
it consequences
plethora of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
in depression.
Hence
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
growth depends upon the parent's nature
as well
as environment. On the flip side, Media, pop culture, and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
friends
also
affects the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
child
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
development
.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
owing
to the fact that in these days every
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
child
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
gadgets such as phones and laptop.
Firstly
these are risky for their eyes sight and
secondly
on phone
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
child
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
see
a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
number
of dreadful videos and clips which are not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
for them and if
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
child
choose atrocious quality of associate
consequently
it might be spoil the image
as well
as character.
For instance
, 60% adolescent spoil their reputation due to their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
cheap
quality of buddy.
Hence
, media and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
friends
are
also
affects the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
child
growth.
To conclude
that, both are responsible for child's
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
development
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
friends
and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
on the contrary
I believe that group plays the most significant role to influence
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
child
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
development
.
What do you think?
  • This is funny writingFunny
  • I love this writingLove
  • This writing has blown my mindWow
  • It made me angryAngry
  • It made me sadSad

IELTS essay Nowadays some think that main factors that affects a child development are media, friends and pop culture. Other believe that families plays the significance role.

Essay
  American English
1 paragraphs
343 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
Recent posts