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average standard of people's health is likely to be less in future. to what extend do you agree with this statement.

average standard of people's health is likely to be less in future. N8Oxd
Now a days people are facing more health related issue than before and because of some external factor it will continue to rise in future. I to a major extend agree with this statement. i shall discuss about my opinion in progressive paragraphs. Firstly, The foremost reason why people are facing health issue is growing technology. technology is making people less active and that is the reason why people are becoming unfit. now a days many websites for online shopping and food delivery apps are available; and that is the reason people tend to use this apps instead of going out and become active. and also food from all around the world is available because of globalisation. and that is the reason why people are eating more and more unhealthy food which is making people more unhealthy. And technology will continue to grow in future which will having negative effects of human as mention above. secondly, climate change is also one the reason for harmful effects on human. industries are growing and more and more harmful and toxic gases are being released in air which is making people unhealthy and continue to harm human. other reason for this can be exploitation of forest. forest are most important part of our ecosystem and humans are cutting is for short term benefits which will effect people in long shot and will have harmful effect on human health by introducing new pathogens in human habitat. However some people think that in future will have good health as a result of more awareness on health. and also now people are being well informed to gain good health from social media. but we cant deny that the positive effects of this is really less than negative results. To sum it up i believe that growing technology and climate change will have harmful effect on human health in future.
Did you mean "nowadays"?
Now a days
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
are facing more
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
health
related issue than
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
before
and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
external factor it will continue to rise in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
future
. I to a major extend
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
with this statement.
Did you mean "I"?
i
shall
Did you mean simply "discuss my"? You do not need the word "about" here.
discuss about my
opinion in progressive paragraphs.
Firstly
, The foremost
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
reason
why
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
are facing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
health
issue is growing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
technology
.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
technology
is making
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
less active and
that is
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
reason
why
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
are becoming unfit.
Did you mean "nowadays"?
now a days
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
websites for online shopping and food delivery apps are available; and
that is
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
reason
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
tend to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
Did you mean "these"?
this
apps
instead
of going out and become active.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
and
also
food from all around the world is available
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of
Possible spelling mistake. 'globalisation' is British English.
globalisation
.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
and
that is
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
reason
why
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
are eating more and more unhealthy food which is making
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
more unhealthy. And
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
technology
will continue to grow in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
future
which will having
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
effects of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
human
as mention above.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
secondly
, climate
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
change
is
also
one the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
reason
for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
harmful
effects on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
human
.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
industries
are growing and more and more
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
harmful
and toxic gases are
being released
in air which is making
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
unhealthy and continue to harm
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
human
.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
reason
for this can be exploitation of forest.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
forest
are
Did you mean "the most"?
most
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
part of our ecosystem and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
humans
are cutting is for short term benefits which will
Did you mean "affect"?
effect
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
in long shot and will have
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
harmful
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
effect
on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
human
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
health
by introducing new pathogens in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
human
habitat.
Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
However
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
that in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
future
will have
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
health
as a result
of more awareness on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
health
.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
and
also
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
now
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
are being
This word is normally spelled with hyphen.
well informed
to gain
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
health
from social media.
Use a comma before 'but' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
but
we
Did you mean "can't" or "cannot"?
cant
deny that the
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
effects of this is
really
less than
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
results. To sum it up
Is this the personal pronoun "I"? It is spelled uppercase.
i
believe that growing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
technology
and climate
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
change
will have
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
harmful
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
effect
on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
human
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
health
in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
future
.
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IELTS essay average standard of people's health is likely to be less in future.

Essay
  American English
1 paragraphs
313 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 5.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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