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Nowadays, some older people choose to live in retirement communities with people, rather than living with their adult children. Is it a positive or negative development?

Nowadays, some older people choose to live in retirement communities with people, rather than living with their adult children. Is it a positive or negative development? KgkM
In this contemporary era, a number of seniors prefer to live in retiral groups instead of spending their lives with their grown-up kids. Although, this trend has several drawbacks, I personally think that it is overall a positive development. To embark with, sending older people to retirement groups causes a lot of problems. First of all, the cost of accommodation in such communities being imposed on youngsters puts a lot of pressure on them. Furthermore, the old people for whom these communities charge so much are not well cared for. Thus, I believe that if the elderly were sent to old age homes, it would also be very important for youngers to visit there to meet their parents so that the morale of the elder persons can be maintained. And I think, good caring in communities give more benefits than being abandon at home to the old-age pensioner. Moreover, Young adults need to spend more time on work for their future promotion so it means they ought to spend less time with their family members, their elder parents, mostly. When adult children go outside to work, old people have to stay at home alone, and they may feel isolate which may cause mental problems to them in a long term. Furthermore, being alone at home also means elderly persons acquire no help when they meet emergencies such as slipping on the floor or fall down from the stage. Consequently, when retirement groups can provide caring equipment and a place for a number of elder people to chat and live, there is no strange for why a plethora of age people want to live in it. To sum up, retirement homes are rather a better option for the elderly owing to the fact that it is almost impossible for young adults to stay like a constant companion with their parents all the time.
In this contemporary era, a number of seniors prefer to
live
in
retiral
groups
instead
of spending their
lives
with their grown-up kids. Although, this trend has several drawbacks, I
personally
think
that it is
overall
a
positive
development.

To embark with, sending older
people
to retirement groups causes
a lot of
problems.
First of all
, the cost of accommodation in such communities
being imposed
on youngsters puts
a lot of
pressure on them.
Furthermore
, the
old
people
for whom these communities charge
so
much are not well cared for.
Thus
, I believe that if the elderly were
sent
to
old
age
homes
, it would
also
be
very
important
for
youngers
to visit there to
meet
their parents
so
that the morale of the elder persons can
be maintained
. And I
think
,
good
caring in communities give more benefits than being abandon at home to the
old
-age pensioner.

Moreover
, Young adults need to spend more time on work for their future promotion
so
it means they ought to spend less time with their family members, their elder parents,
mostly
. When adult children go outside to work,
old
people
have to
stay at home alone, and they may feel isolate which may cause mental problems to them in a long term.
Furthermore
, being alone at home
also
means elderly persons acquire no
help
when they
meet
emergencies such as slipping on the floor or fall down from the stage.
Consequently
, when retirement groups can provide caring equipment and a place for a number of elder
people
to chat and
live
, there is no strange for why a plethora of age
people
want to
live
in it.

To sum up, retirement
homes
are
rather
a better option for the elderly owing to the fact that it is almost impossible for young adults to stay like a constant companion with their parents all the time.
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IELTS essay Nowadays, some older people choose to live in retirement communities with people, rather than living with their adult children. Is it a positive or negative development?

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
312 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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