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Nowadays some older people choose to live in retirement communities with other people, rather than living with their adult children. Is it is a positive or negative development?

Nowadays some older people choose to live in retirement communities with other people, rather than living with their adult children. Is it is a positive or negative development? eLl7
There is no iota of doubt that some senior citizens need more care and medical treatment in old age which cannot afford by younger one properly because they are busy in their work schedule. So, number of old people prefer to live in retirement communities and old age house. This phenonmenon is offering multifarious benefits to people, however some times a couple of problem emerge due to some. The following paragraphs would shed light on pros and cons of these development. To begin with the first notion that, it is a positive development, adults cannot give proper time to their family and parents due to their hectic schedule they are prefering earn more and more for their future prospects. As a result, older people stay at home alone and take care of house. In addition, if all people living at home alone unfortunately they meet some emergencies such a slip on floor and fall down from stairs. Therefore, at that time children work outside and they cannot help their elders. Consequently, when they live in retirement community it can provide proper care and also there are many elder people to chat and share their experience as well. On the flip side of coin, there are some nasty consequences as well. Firstly, they faced some financial problems like in some retire house we need to pay money because they provide all facility. Secondly, senior people could not live without family and especially kids. Consequently, every week their family go to meet them. furthermore, if children grow up without older people experience they could not learn moral values regarding the respect and discipline. In conclusion, I think it is more positive effect if elder people living in retirement communities. Also, they feel uncomfortable without their kids life in these places.
There is no iota of doubt that
some
senior citizens need more care and medical treatment in
old
age which cannot afford by younger one
properly
because
they are busy in their work schedule.
So
, number of
old
people
prefer to
live
in retirement communities and
old
age
house
. This
phenonmenon
is offering multifarious benefits to
people
,
however
some
times
a couple of problem
emerge due to
some
. The following paragraphs would shed light on pros and cons of
these development
. To
begin
with the
first
notion that, it is a
positive
development, adults cannot give proper time to their family and parents due to their hectic schedule they are
prefering
earn more and more for their future prospects.
As a result
, older
people
stay at home alone and take care of
house
.
In addition
, if all
people
living at home alone unfortunately they
meet
some
emergencies such a slip on floor and fall down from stairs.
Therefore
, at that time children work
outside and
they cannot
help
their elders.
Consequently
, when they
live
in retirement community it can provide proper care and
also
there are
many
elder
people
to chat and share their experience
as well
. On the flip side of coin, there are
some
nasty consequences
as well
.
Firstly
, they faced
some
financial problems like in
some
retire
house
we need to pay money
because
they provide all facility.
Secondly
, senior
people
could not
live
without family and
especially
kids.
Consequently
, every week their family go to
meet
them.
furthermore
, if children grow up without older
people
experience they could not learn moral values regarding the respect and discipline.
In conclusion
, I
think
it is more
positive
effect if elder
people
living in retirement communities.
Also
, they feel uncomfortable without their kids life in these places.
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IELTS essay Nowadays some older people choose to live in retirement communities with other people, rather than living with their adult children. Is it is a positive or negative development?

Essay
  American English
1 paragraphs
298 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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