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Nowadays, some new technologies such as computer and mobile phone have been developing rapidly as a new generation that people use them for automatic translation instead of human translators abs interpreters. Do you agree or disagree and give some opinions?

Nowadays, some new technologies such as computer and mobile phone have been developing rapidly as a new generation that people use them for automatic translation instead of human translators abs interpreters. and give some opinions? W2gK
Nowadays, some new technologies such as computer and mobile phone have been developing rapidly as a new generation that people use them for automatic translation instead of human translators and interpreters. In my opinion, I strongly disagree with the above statement due to the following reasons. Firstly, computers and mobile phones which are still called a machine may sometimes have the opportunity to be damaged or out of service although they are very convenient for automatic translation. If the machines are broken, the users cannot use it and also they will need to bring it to the computer shops for repairing. Furthermore, some users who are not familiar with using computers and iPhone may think that using these kinds of technology are so difficult for them. Thus, they may prefer to find someone who know languages for translation and explanation. For example, the elderly people may not understand how to use computer and iPhone and they also do not know how to click the buttons for automatic translation. Lastly, human translators are face to face to assist people for translation but the computers and iPhone are different. The reason is that the human translators can see people’s face and their emotion, and also if someone needs their helps they will directly talk to them and explain to them by face to face. Thus, it is not troubles for them. In conclusion, using new technology is very convenient that it can improve the working efficiency. However, human translators and interpreters are still necessary if the machines are damaged.
Nowadays,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
new technologies such as computer and mobile phone have been developing
rapidly
as a new generation that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
them for automatic
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
translation
instead
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
human
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
translators
and interpreters. In my opinion, I
strongly
disagree with the above statement due to the following reasons.

Firstly
, computers and mobile phones which are
still
called a machine may
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
sometimes
have the opportunity to
be damaged
or out of service although they are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
convenient for automatic
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
translation
. If the machines
are broken
, the users cannot
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
it and
also
they will need to bring it to the computer shops for repairing.
Furthermore
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
users who are not familiar with using computers and iPhone may
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
that using these kinds of technology are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
difficult for them.
Thus
, they may prefer to find someone who know languages for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
translation
and explanation.
For example
, the elderly
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
may not understand how to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
computer and
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
iPhone and
they
also
do not know how to click the buttons for automatic translation.

Lastly
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
human
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
translators
are
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
face
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
face
to assist
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
translation
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
the computers and iPhone are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
. The reason is that the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
human
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
translators
can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
see
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people’s
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
face
and their emotion, and
also
if someone needs their
Did you mean "help"?
helps
they will
directly
talk to them and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
explain
to them by
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
face
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
face
.
Thus
, it is not troubles for them.

In conclusion
, using new technology is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
convenient that it can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improve
the working efficiency.
However
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
human
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
translators
and interpreters are
still
necessary if the machines
are damaged
.

IELTS essay Nowadays, some new technologies such as computer and mobile phone have been developing rapidly as a new generation that people use them for automatic translation instead of human translators abs interpreters. and give some opinions?

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
257 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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