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Nowadays people's spend alot of on their appearance some people think that this is good way to spend money other think that there are better way.discuss both view and your own opinion

Nowadays people's spend alot of on their appearance some people think that this is good way to spend money other think that there are better way. discuss both view and your own opinion m36yd
Undoubtedly, nowadays people spend alot of money on their look such as on hair colors, plastic surgery and on cosmetics products. one school of thought consider it to be justified because there are many professions demand beautiful looks such as receptionists and air hostesses etcetera but other and i opine this view because we think that despites this person can spend money for bright future and can donate to charity. Various Professions requires to do expenditure on looks like actors, film stars, air hostesses and so on. To explain, there is need for such employees to buy cosmetic products and to have plastic surgeries to look younger therefore some people reckon that this is justified because this is method to earn money for many people. To exemplify, filmstars, actors do plastic surgery on there face and many things by considering the demand of films. Hence, they earn money by spending extravagant money on beauty products. However, others opine this view because this money can incurred on bright future. To elaborate, as career plays vital role in everyone's life So, people can spend their funds on their educations and on some courses rather than artificial beauty so that they can become successful in their future by acquiring enough knowledge and educationIn my opinion, this is unjustified to allocate funds on artificial beauty because these kind of products just give temporary beauty to person due to which person loose their natural beauty as these kind of beauty products contain numerous chemicals which put adverse impact on skin of person. Resultingly, person become ugly and loose their natural appearance. To conclude, although in some casses expenditure on such kind of beauty products and surgery is necessary but i still opine this view because of many reasons
Undoubtedly
, nowadays
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
spend
Possible spelling mistake found.
alot
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
on their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
look
such as on hair colors, plastic surgery and on cosmetics
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
products
.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
one
school of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
thought
consider it to
be justified
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
there are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
professions demand
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
beautiful
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
looks
such as receptionists and air
Apostrophe might be missing. Did you mean "hostesses'" or "hostess's"?
hostesses
etcetera
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
other and
Is this the personal pronoun "I"? It is spelled uppercase.
i
opine this view
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
we
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
that
Possible spelling mistake found.
despites
this
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
person
can spend
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
for bright future and can donate to charity. Various Professions requires
Did you mean "doing"? Or maybe you should add a pronoun? In active voice, 'require' + 'to' takes an object, usually a pronoun.
to do
expenditure on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
looks
like actors, film stars, air hostesses and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
on. To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
explain
, there
is need
for such employees to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
buy
cosmetic
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
products
and to have plastic surgeries to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
look
younger
therefore
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
reckon that this
is justified
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
this is method to earn
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
for
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
. To exemplify,
Possible spelling mistake found.
filmstars
, actors do plastic surgery on
Did you mean "their"?
there
face and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
things by considering the demand of films.
Hence
, they earn
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
by spending extravagant
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
beauty
products.

However
, others opine this view
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
this
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
can incurred on bright future. To elaborate, as career plays vital role in everyone's life
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
can spend their funds on their educations and on
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
courses
rather
than artificial
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
beauty
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
that they can become successful in their future by acquiring
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
enough
knowledge and
Possible spelling mistake found.
educationIn
my opinion, this
is unjustified
to allocate funds on artificial
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
beauty
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
Did you mean "this kind" or "these kinds"?
these kind
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
products
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
give temporary
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
beauty
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
person
due to which
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
person
Did you mean "lose" (= miss, waste, suffer the loss etc.)?
loose
their natural
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
beauty
as
Did you mean "this kind" or "these kinds"?
these kind
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
beauty
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
products
contain numerous chemicals which put adverse impact on skin of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
person
.
Possible spelling mistake found.
Resultingly
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
person
become ugly and
Did you mean "lose" (= miss, waste, suffer the loss etc.)?
loose
their natural appearance.
To conclude
, although in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
Possible spelling mistake found.
casses
expenditure on such kind of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
beauty
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
products
and surgery is necessary
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
Is this the personal pronoun "I"? It is spelled uppercase.
i
still
opine this view
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
Please add a punctuation mark at the end of paragraph
reasons
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IELTS essay Nowadays people's spend alot of on their appearance some people think that this is good way to spend money other think that there are better way. discuss both view and your own opinion

Essay
  American English
2 paragraphs
292 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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