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Nowadays people want to start their own business

Nowadays people want to start their own business 2aa8X
In this recent days, individuals focus more in start up then working as an employee. In this essay, reason behind the issue and demerits of self-employed will be discussed. On the one hand, people, nowadays, do not want to do their works with someone’s order. They often choose independence. For example, working in office means following the order of the boss which has to be done in time limit that can be more stressful. Additionally, people choose start up because they want risk and adventure. They often desire to experience the different stage of life. Moreover, having own business means all the profit and bonus are ours. We can collect more revenue, and we do not have to wait for a month to get salary. Salary cannot fulfill the needs of persons nowadays, therefore want to establish their own business in order to achieve all the needs. On the other hand, there can be a lot of cons related to the self-employed. People can be fail during initial stage that can create huge loss. There may not be the coherent business to backward. In addition, employees in company can learn many things related to business as they work under the supervision but they lack there skills when they set up their own business. The life may not be secure because there is no chance of earning if well marketingis not done or if they cannot achievegoals and objectives. To sum up, people choose there own business for liberty and freedom but it may leads to damage if proper plans are not made.
In this recent days, individuals focus more in
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
start
up then working as an employee. In this essay, reason behind the issue and demerits of self-employed will
be discussed
.

On the one hand,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
, nowadays, do not want to do their works with someone’s order. They
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
often
choose independence.
For example
, working in office means following the order of the boss which
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
has to
be done
in time limit that can be more stressful.
Additionally
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
choose
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
start
up
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
they want
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
risk
and adventure. They
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
often
desire to experience the
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
stage of life.
Moreover
, having
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
business
means all the profit and bonus are ours. We can collect more revenue, and we do not
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
wait for a month to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
salary. Salary cannot fulfill the needs of persons nowadays,
therefore
want to establish their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
business
in order to achieve all the needs.

On the other hand
, there can be
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
cons related to the self-employed.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
People
can be fail during initial stage that can create huge loss. There may not be the coherent
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
business
to backward.
In addition
, employees in
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
company
can learn
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
things related to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
business
as they work under the supervision
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
they lack there
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
when they set up their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
business
. The life may not be secure
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
there is no chance of earning if well
Possible spelling mistake found.
marketingis
not done or if they cannot
Possible spelling mistake found.
achievegoals
and objectives.

To sum up,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
choose there
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
business
for liberty and freedom
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
it may
The verb 'may' requires the base form of the verb: "lead"
leads
to damage if proper plans are not made.
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IELTS essay Nowadays people want to start their own business

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
262 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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