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Nowadays people tend to have their own business because of the modern world.why do they need this?what are the risks?

Nowadays people tend to have their own business because of the modern world. why do they need this? what are the risks? mWBxK
It is irefertable fact that work plays vital role in everyone's life. And, it is very hard to survive in this world without job and work. Related to this, in the contemporary era, mostly people prefer to do their own business. However, there are some reason why people need to trading by own. In this writing, I will discuss my points along with the risks of doing own business in further paragraphs. Commencing with people trend their own business. The first and foremost point is that competition is increased among individuals. It is commanly seen that every person want to the better life than others. They want to be better things in every things like homes in earnings and in transporting. If people start their own tradings, they can earn handsome money as well as they can also to their work according to their wish. Masses can easily fullfil their needs and they can also provide higher education in well known colleges in their offsprings. Hence, by doing their own business people can live luxury life. For example, a survey conducted The Tribune reveals that people who are preveling their own business are peoviding all facilities to their children. Moreover, it is assumed that wealthy people have much respect in society And, masses also want name and fame that is why they start their own business. With own work people can live respectfull life and they can enhance their personality. Moreover, there are some risk raised in their own business. The first and foremost is that people can face the loss of trading as all business need sharp and creative mind to grow. When individuals do not manage own their workers and works, they can obviously face the some problems. What is more, they can also get loans to own their works but if work cannot manged properly, they can face difficulty in returing and giving wages and salaries to employees. For instance, an article published by Moscow timeline found that some companies in France are not managed by owners, they big amount of loss and some stopped by banks because they did not return the loans to them. Furthermore, it is also very risky for owners. If owners face the loss, the enormous stress can be raised which lead them toward the dipression. They can also indulge in bad habits such as drugs and drinking. As a result, these things can also be cause of death. To conclude, there are many reasons for running own businesses among people as well as respectfull life. Nevertheless, some risks can be raised like facing loss and indulge in bad habits.
It is
Possible spelling mistake found.
irefertable
fact that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
plays vital role in everyone's
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
. And, it is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
hard
to survive in this world without job and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
. Related to this, in the contemporary era,
mostly
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
prefer to do their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
business
.
However
, there are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
reason why
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
need to trading by
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
. In this writing, I will discuss my points along with the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
risks
of doing
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
business
in
further
paragraphs. Commencing with
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
trend their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
business
. The
first
and foremost point is that competition
is increased
among individuals. It is
Possible spelling mistake found.
commanly
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
seen
that every person want to the better
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
than others. They want to be better things in every things like homes in earnings and in transporting. If
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
start
their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
tradings, they can earn handsome money
as well
as they can
also
to their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
according to their wish. Masses can
easily
Possible spelling mistake found.
fullfil
their
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
needs and
they can
also
provide higher education in well known colleges in their
Possible spelling mistake. Did you mean "offspring", the plural form of the noun 'offspring'?
offsprings
.
Hence
, by doing their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
business
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
luxury
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
.
For example
, a survey conducted The Tribune reveals that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
who are
Possible spelling mistake found.
preveling
their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
business
are
Possible spelling mistake found.
peoviding
all facilities to their children.
Moreover
, it
is assumed
that wealthy
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
have much respect in society And, masses
also
want name and fame
that is
why they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
start
their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
business
. With
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
Possible spelling mistake found.
respectfull
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
life and
they can enhance their personality.
Moreover
, there are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
risk
raised in their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
business
. The
first
and foremost is that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
can
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
face
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
loss
of trading as all
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
business
need sharp and creative mind to grow. When individuals do not manage
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
their workers and works, they can
obviously
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
face
the
Did you mean "same"?
some
problems.
What is more
, they can
also
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
loans to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
their works
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
if
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
cannot manged
properly
, they can
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
face
difficulty in
Possible spelling mistake found.
returing
and giving wages and salaries to employees.
For instance
, an article published by Moscow timeline found that
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
companies
in France are not managed by owners, they
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
big
amount of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
loss
and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
stopped
by banks
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
they did not return the loans to them.
Furthermore
, it is
also
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
risky for owners. If owners
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
face
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
loss
, the enormous
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
stress
can
be raised
which lead them toward the
Possible spelling mistake found.
dipression
. They can
also
indulge in
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
bad
habits such as drugs and drinking.
As a result
, these things can
also
Did you mean "because"?
be cause
of death.
To conclude
, there are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
reasons for running
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
businesses
among
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
as well
as
Possible spelling mistake found.
respectfull
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
.
Nevertheless
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
risks
can
be raised
like facing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
loss
and indulge in
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
bad
habits.
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IELTS essay Nowadays people tend to have their own business because of the modern world. why do they need this? what are the risks?

Essay
  American English
1 paragraphs
438 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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