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Nowadays, people prefer to socialize online rather than face to face. Is this a positive or negative development?

Nowadays, people prefer to socialize online rather than face to face. Is this a positive or negative development? m1b78
In the age of technology, there is an increasing number of people using their cellphones and tablets to communicate with people on the internet. Day by day, they become passive and prefer talking to other people online to meeting them face to face. There is a sad fact that most people nowadays have more friends on the internet than in their real life. In my opinion, this is a negative development which can lead to some unexpected consequences. One serious problem is the isolation. After the internet had been found, there is a number of people choose chatting online at home instead of going to the cafés, restaurants, parks, etc. to meet their friends as they used to do in the past. Communicating on the internet is very convenient, but it deters us from going out and meeting people in real life. We just stay at home and chat to them online. Keeping this routine for a long time make them isolate themselves to the community. This kind of isolation is harmful for their physical and even mental health. One more issue is that people can get dissatisfaction in their relationships with people around. In other words, as people become more interested in making friends online and spend time with them, has led to less interaction with people such as blood relatives and friends in real life. Therefore, they can face some difficulties in talking with people in real life because they use most of time chatting online instead of meeting people face to face. As a result, socializing online lead to the loss of connection between people and people in real life. Last but not least, communicating to people we don’t know on the internet is very risky. They can use fake identity like CEO, or fake photos of beautiful girls and handsome guys, in order to attract more people connecting to them and hiding their characteristics. Vulnerable people such as teenagers and women are the baits that can be trapped in this trap easily. That is to say, connecting to strangers online can make people to get closer to the dangers, especially teenagers and women. In conclusion, although socializing onlines bring us numerous benefits, it still has some negative effects that give us lots of troubles in real life such as isolation, dissatisfaction in relationships and creating dangers in life. I would say that this is a negative development that we have to deal with this problem in the near future, in order to build a civilizing community.
In the age of technology, there is an increasing number of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
using their cellphones and tablets to communicate with
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
on the internet. Day by day, they become passive and prefer talking to other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
online
to meeting them
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
face
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
face
. There is a sad fact that most
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
nowadays have more
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
friends
on the internet than in their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
real
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
. In my opinion, this is a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
development which can lead to
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
unexpected consequences.

One serious problem is the isolation. After the internet had
been found
, there is a number of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
choose
If 'choose' is used as a verb, it usually requires the infinitive: "to chat".
chatting
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
online
at home
instead
of going to the cafés, restaurants, parks, etc. to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
meet
their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
friends
as they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
to do in the past. Communicating on the internet is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
convenient,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
it deters us from going out and meeting
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
real
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
. We
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
stay at home and chat to them
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
online
. Keeping this routine for a long time
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
them isolate themselves to the community. This kind of isolation is harmful for their physical and even mental health.

One more issue is that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
dissatisfaction in their relationships with
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
around.
In other words
, as
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
become more interested in making
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
friends
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
online
and spend time with them, has led to less interaction with
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
such as blood relatives and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
friends
in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
real
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
.
Therefore
, they can
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
face
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
difficulties in talking with
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
real
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
Consider using "most time" or "most of the time".
most of time
chatting
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
online
instead
of meeting
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
face
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
face
.
As a result
, socializing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
online
lead to the loss of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
connection between
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
real
life.

Last
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
not least, communicating to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
we don’t know on the internet is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
risky. They can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
fake identity like CEO, or fake photos of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
beautiful
girls and handsome guys, in order to attract more
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
connecting to them and hiding their characteristics. Vulnerable
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
such as
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
teenagers
and women are the baits that can
be trapped
in this trap
easily
.
That is
to say, connecting to strangers
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
online
can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
closer to the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
dangers
,
especially
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
teenagers
and women.

In conclusion
, although socializing
Possible spelling mistake found.
onlines
bring us numerous benefits, it
still
has
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
effects that give us lots of troubles in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
real
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
such as isolation, dissatisfaction in relationships and creating
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
dangers
in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
. I would say that this is a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
development that we
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
deal with this problem in the near future, in order to build a civilizing community.
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IELTS essay Nowadays, people prefer to socialize online rather than face to face. Is this a positive or negative development?

Essay
  American English
5 paragraphs
420 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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