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Nowadays overweight is biggest concern so that is the issue?

Nowadays overweight is biggest concern so that is the issue? BJ7qw
It is a bitter truth that lots of people are suffering from chronic diseases like blood pressure, obesity due to overweight. There are myriad reasons behind this deplorable condition. This essay will highlight some major causes and provide a few solutions to overcome from it. However, doctors don't diagnose the disease in time and make huge concern in near future. Is overweight only responsible for any individual's health? First of all, lack of physical activity in daily routine is a primary reason for the overweight issue. Moreover, technology and automation revolution make people's life effortless. In other words, adolescents have been more addicted for fast food such as Chinese food while adults are more focus on normal diet due to disorder and they are only interested in rudimentary meals. On the other hand, society has been organised various health camps, but people are not interested to attend and take it lightly but this will helpful for their health not others. For example, in India, the government has conducted various programs for everyone, but it is not only any individual responsibility. In conclusion, overweight is a serious issue, but it can be controlled by taking appropriate action and spread awareness for healthy environment. According to me, Everyone's understanding is obligatory and take proper medicine before making it major concern in the future.
It is a bitter truth that lots of
people
are suffering from chronic diseases like blood pressure, obesity due to
overweight
. There are myriad reasons behind this deplorable condition. This essay will highlight
some
major causes and provide a few solutions to overcome from it.
However
, doctors don't diagnose the disease in time and
make
huge concern in near future. Is
overweight
only
responsible for any individual's health?

First of all
, lack of physical activity in daily routine is a primary reason for the
overweight
issue.
Moreover
, technology and automation revolution
make
people
's life effortless.
In other words
, adolescents have been more addicted for
fast
food such as Chinese food while adults are more focus on normal diet due to
disorder and
they are
only
interested in rudimentary meals.

On the other hand
, society has been
organised
various health camps,
but
people
are not interested to attend and take it
lightly
but
this will helpful for their health not others.
For example
, in India, the
government
has conducted various programs for everyone,
but
it is not
only
any individual responsibility.

In conclusion
,
overweight
is a serious issue,
but
it can
be controlled
by taking appropriate action and spread awareness for healthy environment.
According to me
,

Everyone'
s understanding
is obligatory and take proper medicine
before
making it major concern in the future.
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IELTS essay Nowadays overweight is biggest concern so that is the issue?

Essay
  American English
5 paragraphs
221 words
This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1
5.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
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    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 6.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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