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Nowadays people prefer to move to big cities; older people on the other hand prefer to stay in countryside why is this so ?

Nowadays people prefer to move to big cities; older people on the other hand prefer to stay in countryside why is this so? 0a1GQ
In the recent time there are many people go to urban area because job opportunities and education. people think city gives them good life to live, so they choose to big cities. Conversely, older people choose to live in countryside because they have lot of reason to stay their homeland. These days, most of younger live in mega cities to make their life beautiful. To begin with, cities are offered greater employment and higher standard of living opportunities, so that more and more people attract to urban area for make life. Furthermore, there are lot of technology has available to improve our skill in city, and educational opportunities is the major reason to live in city. For example, the transportation systems and communication systems are batter in any city compared to a village, there are lot of gadget people can use in urban area such as mobile, TV and transport like bus and train. Moreover, nowadays younger are not able to work in framing activities, that is big reason to they choose city. On the other hand, older people are very happy to live in their homeland because they always happy to do their own farming and live in good environment. Similarly, they do not move to any polluting and noisy area for this reason the believe this all problem to affect their health. For example, countryside is usually less affected by air pollution so they live in that type of area. Accordingly, they happy with their friends and do lot of activities and enjoy many festival to gather. To conclude, young people moving to cities for education and jobs, but older people can not move to urban area they like friendly environment. I think living in countryside is very good for our health but problem is we do not attached with advance technology.
In the recent time there are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
go to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
urban
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
area
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
job opportunities and education.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
city gives them
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
life to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
live
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
they choose to
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
big
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cities
.
Conversely
, older
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
choose to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
live
in countryside
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
they have
It seems that an article is missing.
lot of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
reason
to stay their homeland. These days,
Consider using "most younger" or "most of the younger".
most of younger
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
live
in mega
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cities
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
their life
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
beautiful
.

To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
begin
with,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cities
are offered
greater employment and higher standard of living opportunities,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
that more and more
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
attract to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
urban
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
area
for
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
life.
Furthermore
, there are
It seems that an article is missing.
lot of
technology has available to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improve
our
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skill
in city, and educational opportunities is the major
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
reason
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
live
in city.
For example
, the transportation systems and communication systems are batter in any city compared to a village, there are
It seems that an article is missing.
lot of
gadget
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
urban
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
area
such as mobile, TV and transport like bus and train.
Moreover
, nowadays younger are not able to work in framing activities,
that is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
big
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
reason
to they choose city.

On the other hand
, older
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
happy to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
live
in their homeland
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
they always happy to do their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
farming and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
live
in
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
environment.
Similarly
, they do not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
move
to any polluting and noisy
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
area
for this
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
reason
the
Did you mean "belief" (noun) instead of believe (verb)?
believe
this all problem to affect their health.
For example
, countryside is
usually
less
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
affected
by air pollution
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
they
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
live
in that type of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
area
.
Accordingly
, they happy with their friends and do
It seems that an article is missing.
lot of
activities and enjoy
Possible agreement error. The noun festival seems to be countable; consider using: "many festivals".
many festival
to gather.

To conclude
, young
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
moving to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cities
for education and jobs,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
older
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
can not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
move
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
urban
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
area
they like friendly environment. I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
living in countryside is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
for our health
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
problem is we do not attached with advance technology.
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IELTS essay Nowadays people prefer to move to big cities; older people on the other hand prefer to stay in countryside why is this so?

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
304 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
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