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Nowadays, people more occupied with work and other social activities than before to the extent that it has raised concerns over its detrimental effects on different aspects of everyday life. One of these various and prominent facets is having a nutritious and healthy diet.

Nowadays, people more occupied with work and other social activities than before to the extent that it has raised concerns over its detrimental effects on different aspects of everyday life. One of these various and prominent facets is having a nutritious and healthy diet. yXa7J
Nowadays, people more occupied with work and other social activities than before to the extent that it has raised concerns over its detrimental effects on different aspects of everyday life. One of these various and prominent facets is having a nutritious and healthy diet. Undoubtedly, a proper and balanced diet is of paramount importance. However, it is getting difficult to have such a diet owing to the mentioned conditions. As a result, the tendency towards finding an alternative way of consuming wholesome foods which take less time for preparation is dramatically escalating. Consequently, consumption of convenience foods such as frozen meat and canned beans is growing rapidly to such an extent that it is regularly argued that it will eventually replace traditional foods. Here, I take issue with this received notion. Firstly, it is unlikely to obtain adequate nourishment from convenience foods as much as traditional ones; the fact that the time it takes to prepare each of them justifies this claim. Secondly, traditional foods are more organic due to not containing artificial and chemical additives as convenience ones do. Finally, the process of canning and freezing foods in factories will culminate in extra expenses which is economically undesirable. In order to avoid the replacement, companies should at least provide their employees with organic and fresh foods during working hours. Also, the governments must formulate a plan to improve food security. In addition, people should be informed about proper and varied diets so that they don't suffer from any probable illnesses or diseases. In conclusion, the substitution of traditional foods and traditional methods of food preparation may appear to be inevitable but considering the negative effects it can produce, searching for the most suitable way to prevent it from occurring is crucial.
Nowadays,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
more occupied with work and other social activities than
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
before
to the extent that it has raised concerns over its detrimental effects on
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
aspects of everyday life. One of these various and prominent facets is having a nutritious and healthy diet.

Undoubtedly
, a proper and balanced diet is of paramount importance.
However
, it is getting difficult to have such a diet owing to the mentioned conditions.
As a result
, the tendency towards finding an alternative way of consuming wholesome
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
foods
which take less time for preparation is
dramatically
escalating.
Consequently
, consumption of convenience
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
foods
such as frozen meat and canned beans is growing
rapidly
to such an extent that it is
regularly
argued that it will
eventually
replace
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
traditional
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
foods
. Here, I take issue with this received notion.
Firstly
, it is unlikely to obtain adequate nourishment from convenience
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
foods
as much as
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
traditional
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
ones
; the fact that the time it takes to prepare each of them justifies this claim.
Secondly
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
traditional
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
foods
are more organic due to not containing artificial and chemical additives as convenience
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
ones
do.
Finally
, the process of canning and freezing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
foods
in factories will culminate in extra expenses which is
economically
undesirable. In order to avoid the replacement,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
companies
should at least provide their employees with organic and fresh
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
foods
during working hours.
Also
, the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
governments
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
formulate a plan to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improve
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
security.
In addition
,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
should
be informed
about proper and varied diets
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
that they don't suffer from any probable illnesses or diseases.

In conclusion
, the substitution of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
traditional
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
foods
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
traditional
methods of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
preparation may appear to be inevitable
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
considering the
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
effects it can produce, searching for the most suitable way to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
prevent
it from occurring is crucial.
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IELTS essay Nowadays, people more occupied with work and other social activities than before to the extent that it has raised concerns over its detrimental effects on different aspects of everyday life. One of these various and prominent facets is having a nutritious and healthy diet.

Essay
  American English
3 paragraphs
292 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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