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Nowadays people live longer after they retire. How does this affect individuals and society? What can be done about this?

Nowadays people live longer after they retire. How does this affect individuals and society? What can be done about this? xk89
The more dramatic average life expectancy is increasing, the longer people live after retirement. This trend could pose several various impacts on residents and communities. However, the government could take steps to deal with this problem. Regarding individual perspectives, the seniors would perceive a positive effect. Because those have more invaluable periods to enjoy comfortable life after a long time with a hectic schedule, making fortunes, and bringing up children. Meanwhile, this tendency has negative consequences for society. Under this circumstance, society takes responsibility for medical support and refunding pensions for those who are retired. In other words, the demand for healthcare would rise and young adults would have to look after elderly relatives. Thus, the higher proportion of retired people, the greater the tax burden on working adults. Nevertheless, these tensions can be mitigated thanks to government actions. Firstly, the authority could increase the retirement age for working adults. It means that people may have to retire later and the state pension age would rise. The second one is increased populations. The citizens should be encouraged to have more children and the government could encourage immigration to increase the number of younger laborers. Finally, the government should focus on medical advances that allow elderly people to stay healthy and work longer. In conclusion, although the ageing population could bring merit to individuals, this has potential hazards to society. The government plays a vital role in addressing these problems.
The more dramatic average life expectancy is increasing, the longer
people
live
after retirement. This trend could pose several various impacts on residents and communities.
However
, the
government
could take steps to deal with this problem.

Regarding individual perspectives, the seniors would perceive a
positive
effect.
Because
those have more invaluable periods to enjoy comfortable life after a long time with a hectic schedule, making fortunes, and bringing up children. Meanwhile, this tendency has
negative
consequences for society. Under this circumstance, society takes responsibility for medical support and refunding pensions for those who
are retired
.
In other words
, the demand for healthcare would rise and young adults would
have to
look after elderly relatives.
Thus
, the higher proportion of retired
people
, the greater the tax burden on working adults.

Nevertheless
, these tensions can
be mitigated
thanks to
government
actions.
Firstly
, the authority could increase the retirement age for working adults. It means that
people
may
have to
retire later and the state pension age would rise. The second one
is increased
populations. The citizens should
be encouraged
to have more children and the
government
could encourage immigration to increase the number of younger laborers.
Finally
, the
government
should focus on medical advances that
allow
elderly
people
to stay healthy and work longer.

In conclusion
, although the
ageing
population could bring merit to individuals, this has potential hazards to society. The
government
plays a vital role in addressing these problems.
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IELTS essay Nowadays people live longer after they retire. How does this affect individuals and society? What can be done about this?

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
239 words
This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1
5.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0
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    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
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    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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