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Some people think that government is responsible for the rise in obesity in children. Do you agree or disagree?

Some people think that government is responsible for the rise in obesity in children. r60aN
i think in majority of times no. this subject really is a complicated. we need to have activity. this comeback to nature of this word, we created to enjoy of life, real life like going mantain, woods and. . . . all of pasitive activites. and this make we and our bady on the form. but in this period of time we are so inactive and this not only related to people live in city, me as a person that live in village have a little activity beacuse! ! ! i have no respanse to that. why? i am not sure. i canflacted with a illness only for this inactivity and i cant solve it. the dacters really dont know its reason. but i know staying at home without activity for a large time this is a reason. so i really advice dont be inactive for a large time, even when you are in home, stand and start exercise. we should keep our bady on form and main thing for doing that is exercise. i think in many cases like this case peaple that have obesity are inactive. but this subject is wide and we cant give reall and resonal and of course specialized answer. from other side goverments should prepare the field of exercise and playing for childerns.
i
think
in
majority of
times
no. this subject
really
is
a complicated
.
we
need to have activity.
this
comeback to nature of this word, we created to enjoy of life, real life like going
mantain
, woods and.
.
.
.
all
of
pasitive
activites
.
and
this
make
we and our
bady
on the form.
but
in this period of
time
we are
so
inactive and this not
only
related to
people
live
in city, me as a person that
live
in village have a
little
activity
beacuse
! ! !
i
have no
respanse
to that.
why
?
i
am not sure.
i
canflacted
with
a
illness
only
for this inactivity and
i
cant solve it. the
dacters
really
dont
know its reason.
but
i
know staying at home without activity for a large
time
this is a reason.
so
i
really
advice
dont
be inactive for a large
time
, even when you are in home, stand and
start
exercise.
we
should
keep
our
bady
on form and main thing for doing
that is
exercise.
i
think
in
many
cases like this case
peaple
that have obesity are inactive.
but
this subject is
wide and
we
cant
give
reall
and
resonal
and
of course
specialized answer.

from
other side
goverments
should prepare the field of exercise and playing for
childerns
.
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IELTS essay Some people think that government is responsible for the rise in obesity in children.

Essay
  American English
2 paragraphs
219 words
This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1
5.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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