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Nowadays people have to work for longer hours under stressful condition. To what extend do you agree or disagree above statement?

Nowadays people have to work for longer hours under stressful condition. above statement? ljom9
Industrialization and globalization have increased the number of jobs in the market, but it is also responsible for the stress in the people's life. Many people believe that more often employees are working in the very stressful condition. In this essay I will discuss why I completely agree with this statement. The main reason why I believe that people working under stressful state is increasing by day is because of the competitive job market. While for the one job there is always a case that a thousand of applicants apply for it, and this automatically leads to the fear of not getting the job once they lose. Therefore, to keep their job, the employee often works extra hours. For example, recently, in India, around ten jobs was posted by India Railway for the position of Ticket Checker. The whole world was surprised in the morning by hearing that for one position they receive around ten thousand applications. In short, as the competition is on the upward trend, so is the stress. The secondary reason why employee often works under stressful condition is due to the tight deadlines set the management. In addition to this, because of the rapid technological development, every company wants to gain the upper hand in the market with their innovation either in service or in product. For instance, research done by PwC in Japan has shown that not only people often sleep and take showers at work, but also they are not able to home for weeks because of the workload. In sum, today's working state certainly adding stress in our life by affecting our personal life This essay discussed that in order to keep the job and to meet the deadlines set by the management, our life becoming more and more stressful day by day. To conclude, I completely agree that nowadays people are working long hours under stressful condition.
Industrialization and globalization have increased the number of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
jobs
in the market,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
it is
also
responsible for the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
stress
in the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
's life.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
believe that more
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
often
employees are
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
working
in the
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
stressful
condition. In this essay I will discuss why I completely
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
with this statement.

The main reason why I believe that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
working
under
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
stressful
state is increasing by day is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of the competitive
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
market. While for the one
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
there is always a case that a thousand of applicants
Possible agreement error. Did you mean "applies"? (Some collective nouns can be treated as both singular and plural, so 'apply' is not always incorrect.)
apply
for it, and this
automatically
leads to the fear of not getting the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
once they lose.
Therefore
, to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
keep
their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
, the employee
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
often
works extra hours.
For example
, recently, in India, around ten
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
jobs
was posted
by India Railway for the position of Ticket Checker. The whole world
was surprised
in the morning by hearing that for one position they receive around ten thousand applications. In short, as the competition is on the upward trend,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
is the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
stress
.

The secondary reason why employee
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
often
works under
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
stressful
condition is due to the tight deadlines set the management.
In addition
to this,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of the rapid technological development, every
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
company
wants to gain the upper hand in the market with their innovation either in service or in product.
For instance
, research done by PwC in Japan has shown that not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
often
sleep and take showers at work,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
also
they are not able to home for weeks
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of the workload. In sum,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
today
's
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
working
state
certainly
adding
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
stress
in our life by affecting our personal
Please add a punctuation mark at the end of paragraph
life


This essay discussed that in order to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
keep
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
and to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
meet
the deadlines set by the management, our life becoming more and more
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
stressful
day by day.
To conclude
, I completely
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
that nowadays
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
are
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
working
long hours under
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
stressful
condition.
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IELTS essay Nowadays people have to work for longer hours under stressful condition. above statement?

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
315 words
8
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 8.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 8.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 8.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 8.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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