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In many countries, more and more people are competing for a place to study in universities. Why is this happening? Is this is a positive or negative development?

In many countries, more and more people are competing for a place to study in universities. Why is this happening? Is this is a positive or negative development? YLJVr
The number of people competing to study in universities has been increasing in most of the countries. There are a number of reasons why this is happening and I believe that this has been positive. Learners have become more competitive in the following reasons. One of the major reason is that the world is evolving and these days people think that it’s crucial to be educated. For example, as the people’s lives progressing, our world market will tend to elevate. Hence, when it amplifies, their expenses will increase as well. In order to keep up with it, they do think that securing a degree is like a safe net for them. It gives them more opportunities to get a job and gain more income. In addition, technology advancement can also be the cause of it happening. The constant upgrading of technologies gives the people the desire to further their studies as it eases the difficulty to study. For example, with the use of technologies, it provides people the freedom to search for resources. It eases the difficulty for them to study and hence, people will become more interested in learning. They would also think that it’s best to make use of the study ability to advance their qualifications. I believe that the above reasons have been positive. Firstly, as more people are competing, it means they have the desire to develop themselves further. With an increased number of educated people, more crucial problems can be resolved. For instance, there are plenty of problems there were neglected such as social and environmental problems. There will be people who are going to be willing to seek for solutions to these problems. Additionally, they will also learn to aim for the best in order to secure a place in higher education institute. As they know the world has become more advanced and competitive, they will begin to feel more ambitious and eager to work harder. Competitiveness can also be very beneficial for self-improvement. In conclusion, due to technology and the world in general is evolving, This is positive as it provide great impact to people’s self-development. They will know how to make life better as they become more educated and also, they will become more eager to pursue the best for themselves too. Given this situation, it is recommended that people should always aim the best and upgrade themselves so that they can get into the university that they want.
The number of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
competing to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
study
in universities has been increasing in most of the countries. There are a number of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
reasons
why this is happening and I believe that this has been
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
.

Learners have
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
become
more competitive in the following
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
reasons
. One of the major
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
reason
is that the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
world
is evolving and these days
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
that it’s crucial to
be educated
.
For example
, as the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people’s
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lives
progressing, our
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
world
market will tend to elevate.
Hence
, when it amplifies, their expenses will increase
as well
. In order to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
keep
up with it, they do
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
that securing a degree is like a safe net for them. It gives them more opportunities to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
a job and gain more income.
In addition
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
technology
advancement can
also
be the cause of it happening. The constant upgrading of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
technologies
gives the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
the desire to
further
their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
studies
as it
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
eases
the difficulty to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
study
.
For example
, with the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
technologies
, it provides
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
the freedom to search for resources. It
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
eases
the difficulty for them to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
study
and
hence
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
will
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
become
more interested in learning. They would
also
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
that it’s
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
best
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
study
ability to advance their qualifications.

I believe that the above
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
reasons
have been
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
.
Firstly
, as more
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
are competing, it means they have the desire to develop themselves
further
. With an increased number of educated
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
, more crucial
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
problems
can
be resolved
.
For instance
, there are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
plenty
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
problems
there
were neglected
such as social and environmental
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
problems
. There will be
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
who are going to be willing to seek for solutions to these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
problems
.
Additionally
, they will
also
learn to aim for the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
best
in order to secure a place in higher education institute. As they know the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
world
has
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
become
more advanced and competitive, they will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
begin
to feel more ambitious and eager to work harder. Competitiveness can
also
be
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
beneficial for self-improvement.

In conclusion
, due to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
technology
and the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
world
in general
is evolving, This is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
as it
Did you mean "provides"?
provide
great impact to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people’s
self-development. They will know how to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
life better as they
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
become
more educated and
also
, they will
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
become
more eager to pursue the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
best
for themselves too.
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
Given
this situation, it
is recommended
that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
should always aim the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
best
and upgrade themselves
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
that they can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
into the university that they want.
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IELTS essay In many countries, more and more people are competing for a place to study in universities. Why is this happening? Is this is a positive or negative development?

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
407 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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